You Look Different in Real Life

where Mrs. Jones was, and I lean my head against his shoulder. He’s quiet for a moment, then puts his arm around me. I have no idea where exactly we’ll spend the rest of the day and even the night or what our next meal will be, and I’m still very confused about that conversation between Nate and Felix, and stumped over what to do about Rory and what I want to do about Rory. Our lives in Mountain Ridge seem a hemisphere away. We’rein a place where none of the rules of those lives seem to apply. And I find myself wishing I could stay here forever.
    Nate hangs up and steps over to us. “It’s all cool. We can go to Dylan’s. But it’s way the hell downtown and we should leave the car here, don’t you think?”
    “Oh, yeah,” I say. “Once the Parking Gods have gifted you, you don’t want to anger them. I’m sure we got the last free space in the city.”
    “But we’d have to walk. Can’t afford the subway at the moment.”
    “We’ve got legs,” I say, shrugging.
    “Uh, aren’t you forgetting something?” asks Felix. “As in, Rory ? She can’t stay in the car all night.”
    Nate visibly deflates. “Right.”
    “I’ll explain that she’s got to come with us,” I offer.
    Felix shakes his head. “No. Let me do it.”
    He walks to the car and knocks on the window, which leads me to believe Rory is sleeping. Then he opens the car door and slides in. All we can do now is wait.
    Nate sits down on the bottom step. Facing the sidewalk, away from me. “You know, we shouldn’t be sitting on someone else’s steps.”
    “Thank you,” I say suddenly.
    “I just don’t want us to get in trouble.”
    “No, I mean, for what you said earlier. About Rory and me. It was something I hadn’t thought of.”
    The back of Nate’s head nods.
    “Have you thought about what would happen if Felix were to forgive you ?
    Now Nate turns to me, frowns. “Felix forgive me ? I didn’t do anything he needs to forgive me for.”
    “Is that how you see it?”
    His face hardens to match the tone of my voice. “I don’t know what he’s told you, but I have a feeling it’s not exactly true.”
    I open my mouth to protest, but it hits me. Felix hasn’t actually told me anything. Was there a conversation somewhere in the last four years when Felix said, “Nate decided to change his life and become a different person, so he completely ditched his best friend”? It feels like there must have been. I’ve been seething about these events for four years.
    I don’t know what to say next so I do the thing that seems to be working when this happens. I turn on the camera and frame Nate below me. It’s an interesting shot. He looks smaller, more vulnerable. Nothing but sidewalk and car tires behind him.
    He stares right into the lens. “What did he tell you, Justine? I think I have a right to know.”
    The thing about having a camera basically stitched onto your anatomy is that you can’t look away when you want to. The camera forces me to meet Nate’s gaze on thedisplay, even if it’s through a whole bunch of electronic innards.
    “He didn’t tell me anything. He didn’t have to.”
    Nate’s features slide into a kind of sadness. “Ah. So you’re going on assumptions.”
    I pause. “Why don’t you set me straight?” I say, keeping my voice even, like Leslie would.
    “That’s not up to me. I meant what I said to Felix before. I’ve kept my word all this time and I’m not going to blow it now. It’s on him to tell you the truth. And really, you’re the one he should tell. If he can’t tell you, he’s in bigger trouble than I thought.”
    Nate turns away. What can I ask next to get him to keep talking? But just then, I hear Felix chirp, “Here we are!”
    I find him with the camera and yes, here he is. And here Rory is too, staring a hole into the pavement.
    “Yay, Rory!” says Nate, but she doesn’t react so he switches gears. “We have to get down to Dylan’s dorm and we have to walk. It’s pretty far. Felix explained that?”
    Rory nods.
    “Why don’t we go ask Mrs. Jones to lend us money for the subway?” suggests Felix, pointing with his thumb behind us.
    “No subway,” says Rory. “No way. Never.”
    Felix mentioning money reminds me of the credit card in Olivia’s car. It makes sense to have it with us, in case ofan emergency. “Before we go, I need to grab my stuff,” I say, and pass off the camera to Felix.
    “Oh, yeah,” says Nate. “Me too.”
    He starts walking