12th of Never

have a mental disorder. Newspapers are folding worldwide. Writers are creating free content on blogs and are competing for the chance to work for no pay at all.
    “I have to nail down my niche so that when the music stops, I have a chair.”
    “I’m not getting enough out of this relationship,” Rich said. “You have to decide what’s more important to you—”
    Cindy bolted from the booth, pushed past the tables in the center of the room, threaded her way through the passageway, and went out into the bar. There was a limbo competition in progress and a skinny woman in hot pink was shimmying under the bamboo pole.
    Cindy bumped into the stick and it clattered to the ground, which was followed by loud and very vocal disapproval from the crowd.
    Cindy said, “Sorry,” and kept going through the doorway, into the misty night. She began running up the street to where she had parked her car, on Jackson and Battery.
    Rich was calling her name, but she didn’t stop. She had her key fob in hand, and when she was within range, she disarmed the car alarm.
    Rich was saying, “Stop running, Cindy. Just stop.”
    When she got to the car, it chirped as the alarm reset itself. What the hell? She pressed the button and the car chirped again, then again.
    Rich had a duplicate of her fob. Every time she turned off the alarm, he turned it on again. This was insane.
    She spun around to confront him.
    “Leave me alone, Rich.”
    “First we talk.”
    “Do not go cop on me.”
    He smiled.
    She said, “And do not try to humor me, either.”
    “Answer me this, Cindy. When was the last time you kissed me like you meant it?”
    Everything seemed to stop but the rain.

Chapter 45
    CINDY STARED AT Rich as he rested his butt against the left front fender of her car, crossed his arms over his chest. He looked seriously angry. She was pretty mad herself. When
was
the last time she’d kissed him with feeling?
    He said, “You’re ambitious to a fault.”
    “Oh, really?”
    “Other women would be planning a wedding. They’d be designing their wedding dress and so forth. Picking out a honeymoon spot. You don’t want to set a date. You make a little sound in your throat when you see a baby.”
    “What sound, Rich? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
    “It’s like you’re disgusted.”
    Cindy felt the sting of truth. Tears welled up and spilled over. Rich came to her and tried to put his arms around her, but she shook him off, said, “Don’t touch me. Please don’t.”
    “Let’s go home,” he said. “I’ll drive your car. I’ll get a ride in the morning.”
    The truth was opening her up, but the price of the truth was the loss of Richie.
    “Rich. I’m sorry that I can’t be … I’m sorry that I’m not like other women. But I’m not. I didn’t want to face it, but you’re completely right. I’ve been keeping walls up because I knew that if I admitted that we want different things, this would be over.”
    She had been wearing Rich’s mother’s ring for almost a year. She pulled at it until it came off, and then she pushed it at Richie. He grunted as if he’d been punched in the belly. But he took the ring, closed his hand around it, then put it into his pocket.
    Cindy felt light-headed. Had she meant to break up with him? Her face was wet from the rain. Oh, my God. Richie.
    “It’s not that I don’t love you,” she said. “I do.”
    “And now you’re going to say that love isn’t enough?” His voice was cracking. He was crying, too.
    Cindy reached up, took Richie’s dear face in her hands, and kissed him. Then she released him and turned toward the car.
    “I’ll pick up my clothes in the morning,” Rich said. “I’m going to make sure you get home okay.”
    “You don’t have to do that.”
    “I want to.”
    “Where will you go?”
    “Don’t worry about it, Cindy. I can always find a place to sleep.”
    This was happening too fast, but it felt inevitable. Cindy opened her car door, got inside, and waited for several minutes as Rich got to his car, then pulled up behind her. His headlight beams filled the interior of her car with a cold and lifeless illumination.
    Cindy released the brakes and turned the wheel, astounded at what she had done and that Rich had let her do it.
    As she drove along Jackson, she had a flash of understanding.
    Rich had gotten
her
to break up with him. He’d been loaded with determination when he arrived at Susie’s. She should have known it from the