1936 On the Continent

hotels which can now satisfy the requirements of the most fastidious foreign visitor. Apart from this the Balaton is very cheap, its prices are never higher, even in the height of the season, than those of the first-class Budapest hotels. If you want to make your stay a little longer you can rent a villa or a flat there. The municipal management is doing its best to make the place comfortable and pleasant. On the banks of the Balaton you find sports and amusement all over the place. You can swim, do some angling, yachting, or motor-boating, play golf, and in the summer season can visit the horse races.
    About 4 miles from the Balaton is Héviz. I promise on my honour that I shall not bring in one more rheumatic resort, but I simply must mention this place. It is a lake of some 15 acres in area, and its sources are 120 feet deep. On the surface of the steaming hot water the lotus blooms in exotic abundance. This I believe is the only place in Europe where lotus grows in the open air. The bottom of the lake is covered with a deep layer of turf, which is in a continuous state of decomposition. It contains radioactive calcium, magnesia, and other organic matter. Its dark-brown mud is the best cure for rheumatism.
    I must confess I am secretly praying that you should have some little rheumatic pains (of transitory nature,of course) in your arms or back. You might say that is not very nice of me, but I must say in defence that that is my only hope of your ever visiting Hungary.
    For full six weeks—it seems—no rheumatic pains have made themselves felt in Miss Glinton’s body, because I have received no reply to my letter. I therefore sit down to write my sixth and last letter to her.
My Last Letter to Miss Glinton
    We must say farewell, my dear friend, before I leave the ranks of the living, or, I should say, that of the touristic correspondents. I put my last hope into these lines. In the last weeks a sinister suspicion has crept into my heart. I fear that none of my efforts were of any avail. You presumably feel a strong antipathy towards climatic resorts; towards mud which offers an excellent cure for rheumatism; cathedrals of historic interest; native dresses of oriental splendour; and in general towards all things of which we Hungarians are so proud. I fear that even the statistics relating to Hungarian fruit exports and that of poultry have not stirred your heart. My last hope is the possibilities of Hungarian shooting. Just listen to this!
    Hungary is the richest shooting country of present-day Europe. You can always find a few country houses with excellent shootings to let. The rent they ask you to pay is extremely moderate and it offers you in turn an excellent time for a whole season. Most of these country houses and homes of the aristocracy are in Transdanubia, and as such are not far from Budapest. You can shoot partridges, pheasants, hare and various water birds in larger quantities than anywhere else in Europe. We have a few packs of hounds, and hunting in Hungary in reminiscent of the English tradition. I shall tell you briefly of the periods when you can shoot the various game. Stag (male), September and October. Stag (female), from September till the middle of February. Stag (fawn), October till the middle of February. Deer (roebuck), May till October. Deer (female), middle of October till New Year. It is forbidden to shoot young deer. Hare, from the beginning of September till February. Partridge, from the middle of August till November. Bustard (cock only), April till July. Pheasant (cock), middle of September till February.Pheasant (hen), middle of October till February. Woodcock, middle of August till middle of April.
    If you are lucky you may be able to shoot fallow deer and chamois as well in Hungary.
    Water-birds, including wild geese and wild duck which are very frequent in Hungary, can be shot practically all the year round, except during a period of seventy-five days from the middle of April till the beginning of July.
    Elephants, rhinoceroses and giraffes can be shot all the year round, and since such animals cannot be found in Hungary there are no restrictions whatsoever.
    If you still resist the temptation of coming to Hungary I shall send a telegram consisting of a well-known Dante quotation to the Hungarian office for Tourist Traffic:
Lasciate Ogni Speranza
(Abandon hope!).
    Au revoir, in the next world.
    A full five months have passed since I posted my last letter. The banks of the