A Blink of the Screen

sight of the third witch, and it wasn’t because Letice Earwig was a bad woman. Quite the reverse, in fact. She was considered to be decent, well-meaning and kind, at least to less-aggressive animals and the cleaner sort of children. And she would always do you a good turn. The trouble was, though, that she would do you a good turn for your own good even if a good turn wasn’t what was good for you. You ended up mentally turned the other way, and that wasn’t good.
    And she was married. Nanny had nothing against witches being married. It wasn’t as if there were rules. She herself had had many husbands, and had even been married to three of them. But Mr Earwig was a retired wizard with a suspiciously large amount of gold, and Nanny suspected that Letice did witchcraft as something to keep herself occupied, in much the same way that other women of a certain class might embroider kneelers for the church or visit the poor.
    And she had money. Nanny did not have money and therefore was predisposed to dislike those who did. Letice had a black velvet cloak so fine that it looked as if a hole had been cut out of the world. Nanny did not. Nanny did not want a fine velvet cloak and did not aspire to such things. So she didn’t see why other people should have them.
    ‘Evening, Gytha. How are you keeping yourself?’ said Gammer Beavis.
    Nanny took her pipe out of her mouth. ‘Fit as a fiddle. Come on in.’
    ‘Ain’t this rain dreadful?’ said Mother Dismass. Nanny looked at the sky. It was frosty purple. But it was probably raining wherever Mother’s mind was at.
    ‘Come along in and dry off, then,’ she said kindly.
    ‘May fortunate stars shine on this our meeting,’ said Letice. Nanny nodded understandingly. Letice always sounded as though she’d learned her witchcraft out of a not very imaginative book.
    ‘Yeah, right,’ she said.
    There was some polite conversation while Nanny prepared tea and scones. Then Gammer Beavis, in a tone that clearly indicated that the official part of the visit was beginning, said:
    ‘We’re here as the Trials committee, Nanny.’
    ‘Oh? Yes?’
    ‘I expect you’ll be entering?’
    ‘Oh, yes. I’ll do my little turn.’ Nanny glanced at Letice. There was a smile on that face that she wasn’t entirely happy with.
    ‘There’s a lot of interest this year,’ Gammer went on. ‘More girls are taking it up lately.’
    ‘To get boys, one feels,’ said Letice, and sniffed. Nanny didn’t comment. Using witchcraft to get boys seemed a damn good use for it as far as she was concerned. It was, in a way, one of the fundamental uses.
    ‘That’s nice,’ she said. ‘Always looks good, a big turnout. But.’
    ‘I beg your pardon?’ said Letice.
    ‘I said “but”,’ said Nanny, ‘’cos someone’s going to say “but”, right? This little chat has got a big “but” coming up. I can tell.’
    She knew this was flying in the face of protocol. There should be at least seven more minutes of small talk before anyone got around to the point, but Letice’s presence was getting on her nerves.
    ‘It’s about Esme Weatherwax,’ said Gammer Beavis.
    ‘Yes?’ said Nanny, without surprise.
    ‘I suppose she’s entering?’
    ‘Never known her stay away.’
    Letice sighed.
    ‘I suppose you … couldn’t persuade her to … not to enter this year?’ she said.
    Nanny looked shocked.
    ‘With an axe, you mean?’ she said.
    In unison, the three witches sat back.
    ‘You see—’ Gammer began, a bit shamefaced.
    ‘Frankly, Mrs Ogg,’ said Letice, ‘it is very hard to get other people to enter when they know that Miss Weatherwax is entering. She always wins.’
    ‘Yes,’ said Nanny. ‘It’s a competition.’
    ‘But she always wins!’
    ‘So?’
    ‘In other types of competition,’ said Letice, ‘one is normally only allowed to win for three years in a row and then one takes a backseat for a while.’
    ‘Yeah, but this is witching,’ said Nanny. ‘The rules is different.’
    ‘How so?’
    ‘There ain’t none.’
    Letice twitched her skirt. ‘Perhaps it is time there were,’ she said.
    ‘Ah,’ said Nanny. ‘Are you just going to go up and tell Esme that? You up for this, Gammer?’
    Gammer Beavis didn’t meet her gaze. Old Mother Dismass was gazing at last week.
    ‘I understand Miss Weatherwax is a very proud woman,’ said Letice.
    Nanny Ogg puffed at her pipe again.
    ‘You might as well say the sea is full of water,’ she said.
    The other witches