A Dirty Drag Collection (Dirty Drag #1, 2, & 3)

if he was reliving the memory. “After the shock wore off, I begged for a Q-tip.” Jared opened his eyes and looked directly into Ashley’s eyes, “I fucking begged, Ashley! He didn’t even have a cotton ball! That’s why I’m here. But, it is too late now. All the man juice has dried up, and it feels crusty. It’s making my ear itch.” Jared explained, again sharing excessive information.
    “Are you done? Because I don’t think I can stomach anymore of your details.”
    “Yeah, I think that’s it,” Jared said softly, “I mean, we were having a really great time, it was smoking hot. Then, without warning, he erupted like a gushing geyser. Total mood killer.” Jared looked at Ashley, “I’m glad you look normal again. Druggy streetwalker is just not a look you can pull off sweetie.” Ashley glared at him. “Stop looking at me like that and start telling me what has you doing the ultimate walk of shame this morning.”
    Ashley filled Jared in about what happened the previous night, leaving out the specifics and adult content. As over the top as he might be, he still didn’t like to talk about intimate and sexual details, even with friends. When he finished with his story Jared responded, “Oh honey, you know I was drunk and just teasing you. Until I saw you this morning, I thought you always looked gorgeous.” He smiled at Ashley.
    “Shut up.” Ashley nudged their shoulders together. “I didn’t look that bad this morning. And you’re doing the walk of shame right now.” Ashley gestured towards Jared’s outfit, obviously the same one he wore last night.
    “But, I still look cute, no shame in that. You looked like a dirty mess.” Jared stopped and appeared to be thinking, “Although I did honestly think you were an authentic party girl. So you can pass as a biological-train-wreck-of-a-woman and even fool your friends.” Jared said, clapping his hands as if he had just given Ashley great news.
    “You have a gift for words and always know what to say to make a person feel good.” Ashley said sarcastically.
    “That’s true.” Jared smiled, “Take me home now. I need to look up how to get dried baby batter out of my ear canal.”
    “Call a cab. And for the love of God, never talk about come in front of me ever again.” Ashley begged.
    “I promise I’ll never talk about a man’s sweet cream in front of you again, if you give me a ride home.” Jared offered.
    “Deal!” Ashley immediately responded before Jared could try to change the agreement. Having already been out looking worse, Ashley just slipped on his flip-flops and took Jared over to his place.

    Blackmailed into a Happy Ever After

    It was early Sunday evening when Ashley got a text message from Rick. I have your boob. If you ever want to see it again, you’ll have to meet me for dinner tonight.
    Ashley didn’t even need to think about a reply. How do I know you really have my boob and this isn’t a trap?
    A few minutes later, Ashley received a picture of his left breast padding. He hadn’t even noticed it was missing from his bag. In the picture, the boob was leaning against Rick’s wicked cookie jar, with a tiny plastic Storm Trooper holding a gun, pointed right at the padding. There was also a note in black, block letters: ‘DINNER, OR THE BOOB GETS IT!’
    Ashley couldn’t help but grin as he replied, Fine. I’ll be there. Where will the exchange go down?
    Dairy Queen at 6:30pm. Come alone.
    With the rendezvous set, Ashley knew he needed the perfect outfit for this exchange. He smiled, his thoughts spinning, as a plan formed to turn the tables on his blackmailer.

Part Three:

    Getting Serious

    Ashley had a plan; he was going to dress as the sluttiest skank ever, even if he was meeting Rick at the local Dairy Queen and not some club. It would serve him right for the atrocious kidnapping of his left boob. Rick deserved the surprise. Then after thinking about it for a few minutes, Ashley chuckled lightly realizing that probably wouldn’t actually shock Rick at all. In fact, he would most likely be expecting it. After all, in the short time they had known each other — um, more like in the one night they had spent together, all he did was act like a rampant sex fiend.
    Ashley knew he didn’t really want to be thought of like that, not by Rick anyway. He would be a fool to let Rick slip away, and he had no doubt that’s exactly what would happen if he didn’t start acting like an adult capable of having