A Game of Thrones 4-Book Bundle

he’d erected hundreds
of statues of her all along the walls of Dragonstone. ‘My lord,’ I had to tell
him, “those are gargoyles.’” He chuckled. “Ser Axell might serve for
Shireen’s father, but in my experience, the more bizarre and shocking a tale
the more apt it is to be repeated. Stannis keeps an especially grotesque fool,
a lackwit with a tattooed face.”
    Grand Maester Pycelle gaped at him, aghast. “Surely you do not mean to suggest
that Lady Selyse would bring a
fool
into her bed?”
    â€œYou’d have to be a fool to want to bed Selyse Florent,” said
Littlefinger.
“Doubtless Patchface reminded her of Stannis. And the best lies contain within
them nuggets of truth, enough to give a listener pause. As it happens, this
fool is utterly devoted to the girl and follows her everywhere. They even look
somewhat alike. Shireen has a mottled, half-frozen face as well.”
    Pycelle was lost. “But that is from the greyscale that near killed her
as a babe, poor thing.”
    â€œI like my tale better,” said Littlefinger, “and so will the smallfolk. Most
of them believe that if a woman eats rabbit while pregnant, her child will be
born with long floppy ears.”
    Cersei smiled the sort of smile she customarily reserved for Jaime. “Lord
Petyr, you are a wicked creature.”
    â€œThank you, Your Grace.”
    â€œAnd a most accomplished liar,” Tyrion added, less warmly.
This one is
more dangerous than I knew,
he reflected.
    Littlefinger’s grey-green eyes met the dwarf’s mismatched stare with no hint of
unease. “We all have our gifts, my lord.”
    The queen was too caught up in her revenge to take note of the exchange.
“Cuckolded by a halfwit fool! Stannis will be laughed at in every winesink
this side of the narrow sea.”
    â€œThe story should not come from us,” Tyrion said, “or it will be seen for a
self-serving lie.”
Which it is, to be sure.
    Once more Littlefinger supplied the answer. “Whores love to gossip, and as it
happens I own a brothel or three. And no doubt Varys can plant seeds in the
alehouses and pot-shops.”
    â€œVarys,” Cersei said, frowning. “Where
is
Varys?”
    â€œI have been wondering about that myself, Your Grace.”
    â€œThe Spider spins his secret webs day and night,” Grand Maester Pycelle said
ominously. “I mistrust that one, my lords.”
    â€œAnd he speaks so kindly of you.” Tyrion pushed himself off his chair. As it
happened, he knew what the eunuch was about, but

it was nothing the other councillors needed to hear. “Pray excuse me, my
lords. Other business calls.”
    Cersei was instantly suspicious. “King’s business?”
    â€œNothing you need trouble yourself about.”
    â€œI’ll be the judge of that.”
    â€œWould you spoil my surprise?” Tyrion said. “I’m having a gift made for
Joffrey. A little chain.”
    â€œWhat does he need with another chain? He has gold chains and silver, more
than he can wear. If you think for a moment you can buy Joff’s love with
gifts—”
    â€œWhy, surely I
have
the king’s love, as he has mine. And
this
chain I believe he may one day treasure above all others.” The
little man bowed and waddled to the door.
    Bronn was waiting outside the council chambers to escort him back to the Tower
of the Hand. “The smiths are in your audience chamber, waiting your
pleasure,” he said as they crossed the ward.
    â€œWaiting my pleasure. I like the ring of that, Bronn. You almost sound a
proper courtier. Next you’ll be kneeling.”
    â€œFuck you, dwarf.”
    â€œThat’s Shae’s task.” Tyrion heard Lady Tanda calling to him merrily from the
top of the serpentine steps. Pretending not to notice her, he waddled a bit
faster. “See that my litter is readied, I’ll be leaving the castle as soon as
I’m done here.” Two of the Moon Brothers had the door guard. Tyrion greeted
them pleasantly, and grimaced before starting up the stairs. The climb to his
bedchamber made his legs ache.
    Within he found a boy of twelve laying out clothing on the bed; his
squire, such that he was. Podrick Payne was so shy he was furtive. Tyrion had
never quite gotten over the suspicion that his father had inflicted the boy on
him as a joke.
    â€œYour