A Man Named Dave

rumors began to float of severe personnel cutbacks. I saw the writing on the wall. Since the Looking Glass was no longer an operational aircraft and boom operators were not allowed to perform their tasks, I believed I would be among the first to be relieved from active duty. I had always envisioned myself serving twenty years until I could retire, but now that was no longer an option. The air force was also offering early retirement bonuses but for a limited time, and after a certain cutoff, the air force claimed, they could legally dismiss anyone as they deemed necessary. Because of my years in service and my pay grade, I knew I was a prime candidate.
    After months of speculating, I had a heart-to-heart with Patsy. So not to upset her, I had deliberately tried to keep her in the dark. “We’ve got to make a decision,” I began. “Uhm, the air force, is going to announce —”
    “Get out!” Patsy broke in. “Your job sucks, you’re not happy. I’m miserable. I hate this place, there’s nothing to do. Stephen needs … to be with his family. Let’s take the money, bonus, separation thing, and go home before the air force gives you the boot and you have nothing to show for it.”
    “Okay.” Patsy’s outburst had stunned me. “How long … I mean, when did you know?”
    Patsy raised her eyebrows. “I know a lot more than you think.”
    “Well, hang on, there’s more. If we do this, you need to know, I mean fully understand what this means. It’s a onetime payment; we won’t have medical coverage –”
    “How much?” Patsy quizzed.
    “Well, if we don’t have any unexpected bills,” I said, “we should be able to put some money away for Stephen’s college and, well, the rest we’ll use to save up for a down payment on a home. But,” I warned, “with me being the only one working –”
    “I told you, I got a bad back,” Patsy said defensively.
    I waved her off. “I’m not saying that. But listen, I’ll need to get at least a full-time job with lots of overtime, if not two jobs.”
    “So, they’re not going to give you a lot of money?” Patsy asked, as if offended.
    “The way I see it, the air force doesn’t have to give me a thing.”
    “What will you do?”
    “I’ve thought about this a great deal. I can’t work full-time at juvenile hall; I need a degree, and aeronautics is not what they’re looking for. If I’m lucky, I could work there part-time. Jobs right now are scarce with the recession and all, but … there is an option …”
    I spent the remainder of the time telling Patsy about a local speaker organization. “They’ve seen me speak a couple of times, and, well, Rich and Carl, the owners, think I have what it takes to become a speaker. It’s not a bureau,” I warned. “It’s like having my own business. The firm, they provide the support staff. I can work out of California, and you know me, I’ll work my tail off. In a couple of years, if we get lucky, maybe we can get a house and live on the river. Think of it, Patsy.” I reached over to clasp her hand. “It’s the best of both worlds. If I do this, I’ll never be laid off. I can help kids, the people who work with kids, corporations, the works. I know I’ll never be one of those motivational speakers you see on TV, and I don’t want to be. I can’t explain it, but I believe with all my heart I have a message that could really help a lot of people. We may not get rich, but who cares? Think about the impact we can make! And,” I smiled, “they said they’ll publish the book.”
    “ That thing? You’ve been working on it for how long? Why is that so important to you?”
    “ That book is definitely going to change people’s lives,” I stated. Besides, I told myself, it’s a promise I made a long time ago.
    “Listen,” I continued, “I know I’m hitting you with a lot. We still have some time. I don’t want to jump into anything without both of our heads on straight. This is only the first of many steps we have to address. Either way, it’s not gonna be overnight. I love the air force, it’s been like a family for me … but I think my time has come.
    “I’ll promise you this. If I have to work a dozen jobs to pay the rent and put food on the table, I’ll do it. I’ll never put you or Stephen at risk. I promise.”
    Taking it all in, Patsy asked. “How much? With you speaking, how much can we make?”
    “Well,” I said, stumbling, “it’s like being on commission. The more programs I do, the more I can make. But there are expenses; I’ll be on the road a lot, and I’m going to have