After the Fall

the apartment complex hear my extensive repertoire of profanity.
    Doing it on my own was a royal pain in the ass, especially since I had zero manual dexterity with my right hand. That’s what you get for slugging someone, idiot. At least I had help this time, and I had to admit, the ridiculous task was a blessing in disguise. It gave us something to do, something to focus on and keep our hands busy in the wake of that moment in the hallway.
    Finally, I was situated, and no adjustments remained to keep us distracted. I was sitting upright on the couch, my leg stretched across the cushions and propped up against the back, and Ryan had pulled an ottoman up next to me. Sitting on that, he was just inches away, close enough to touch, nothing but my plaster-encased hand and a few inches of cushion between us.
    And once again, our eyes met.
    I was usually so confident with things like this. I made the first move. I was the first to go in for the kiss, the first to tug at a zipper. But this was different somehow, in a way I couldn’t begin to define.
    Holding my gaze, Ryan closed some of the distance. My heart sped up. It was almost like I’d somehow convinced myself I’d imagined that moment in the hallway, and now it was becoming real again. Every nerve ending in my body lit up like a glowing ember coming back to life, but then Ryan stopped. A ragged breath rushed past my lips. He pulled back a little. Whatever confidence had driven him before was suddenly absent.
    I curved my hand around the back of his neck and lifted my head off the pillow, and we came together somewhere in the middle.
    The kiss was deeper this time, more exploratory now that the holy shit, you kissed me had worn off. He didn’t just open to me, he gave as good as he got, sliding his tongue past mine.
    Our hands were almost completely still. Mine rested on the side of his neck. His cradled the back of my head, occasionally stroking or gently grasping my hair.
    I was hardly a virgin, but this was like nothing I’d ever experienced. Making out was usually foreplay. An appetizer before the groping and sucking and fucking, or something to tide us over until we could grope and suck and fuck. This wasn’t. This time, it was an act in and of itself. Somehow deep down I knew we wouldn’t be sleeping together tonight, that no clothes were coming off and any orgasm I had would be after he’d gone. There would be this much and no more with him, and there wasn’t an ounce of frustration in that knowledge. Nothing but complete surrender to his kiss, to his fingers in my hair, to the sweetly erotic way we just tasted each other without demanding anything further. There was no craving for release, because that was exactly what this was: the slow, resonating release of the tension I hadn’t even realized had been growing between us since the beginning.
    I had no idea how much time passed before we finally came up for air. We were both breathing hard, both holding onto each other a little tighter, and my God, I was hard, but I didn’t want this to go any further tonight. It was too good like this. Pushing it would only ruin it, I was sure.
    Our foreheads touched.
    “Damn, it’s late.” Ryan sighed. “I have to work tomorrow.”
    “Me too.”
    He kissed me again, lightly this time. “I should go.”
    “Maybe we could see each other tomorrow?” I ran my fingers through his short hair. “After work?”
    Ryan smiled. “I can pick you up at the clinic.”
    Returning the smile, I said, “I’m off at five.”
    He sat up a little, stretching his back, which must have been aching after leaning toward me for so long. “Before I go, do you need a hand getting from here into—” He stopped abruptly. “Um . . .”
    “The bedroom?” I asked.
    “Yeah.” His smile was so adorably shy. “I meant, because of your leg. Not, um . . .”
    “I could use the help, actually.” I chewed my lip. “With getting off the couch. I can handle it from there. You don’t mind?”
    He shook his head. “Not at all.”
    We carefully shuffled pillows and cushions around so I could move, and he helped me to my feet.
    And suddenly we were against each other again, and his arm was around my waist and our mouths were only a few inches apart. His kiss hadn’t cooled on my lips yet, and though I wasn’t hard anymore, it wouldn’t take much to get me back to full attention again. He was here, against me, and my whole body wanted to respond to that look in his eyes.
    “