AfterNet 01 - Good Cop Dead Cop

dead and so are you. What’s the difference if I’m dead in a house with 12 toilets if I can’t piss in any of them.
ribaldhumor: Easy, Alex, I wasn’t trying to rub it in. I’m not showing off my wealth to you. Instead I’m trying to see if I can help you. My job offer is serious.
jollycopper: OK, why would you want to hire me? What do I offer?
ribaldhumor: You’re an example. Your work with the police department shows that the disembodied shouldn’t be ignored. You and your partner show that the living and the dead working together can be powerful. But we can’t allow ourselves to be treated as anything but equals, Alex, and allowing yourself to be treated as a piece of equipment dilutes that message.
jollycopper: So you’re saying that working as a cop makes me your poster child, but at the same time I’m making it worse for those who might follow. It’s a nice Catch-22.
jollycopper: You know a lot of black cops in the 60s and 70s had to make the same choice. They were never paid as much as white cops, but they got their foot in the door.
ribaldhumor: Stop thinking like a member of a minority, Alex. You know, I was aware of you even before the city was thinking about hiring you. The second my doctors told me I had pancreatic cancer, I started planning for my afterlife.
ribaldhumor: I tried to find out who was speaking up for the rights of the disembodied, and I found you. You made a big impression when you testified before that House committee.
ribaldhumor: You said, “Ignoring what we offer will damn the disembodied to irrelevance and neglect. And be careful what you sow here today, because I know you will be around to reap the spoils of your decisions.”
jollycopper: Can I speak now?
ribaldhumor: Please go ahead.
jollycopper: You just happened to have that quote ready?
ribaldhumor: Yes I did. You’re an influential man. Your blog attracts a lot of readers. I looked at your site statistics and calculated your likely ad revenues. You probably make a little from that. With that and what the department pays you, you could rent. So why not?
jollycopper: We both know where that leads … once the dead start demanding a place to stay, we crowd out the living. It’s just like your comment about my taking the job with the department.
ribaldhumor: That’s why you resent my owning this house.
jollycopper: Yes.
ribaldhumor: I agree. That’s why I’ll be putting it on the market as soon as we break ground on the Center for the AfterLife.
jollycopper: ?
ribaldhumor: Here, in Denver. A massive project, a home for the disembodied, an advocacy group, a power base, a world-class research center.
jollycopper: Ah hah. All those Einsteins and Newtons come home to roost. But despite predictions of warp drive and personal flying machines, we still haven’t seen the … ah, you’re going to say we haven’t had the infrastructure to support that kind of research.
ribaldhumor: Yes. Part of the problem is the insistence of the AfterNet and their certificates. Why do we require that someone prove they’re Einstein or Planck or Edison? And besides, why do we require an Einstein, when an Alex Munroe will do.
jollycopper: Sorry, I’m no Einstein. What good am I?
ribaldhumor: You’re just one example. Admit it, Alex, you already know where this is going.
jollycopper: I’m obviously not as smart as you think.
ribaldhumor: No, you’re smarter than you think you are. The power of the human mind, Alex, unfettered by corporeal restraints, freed from the drudgery of eating and sleeping and the need to make enough money to go on eating and sleeping. Can you really tell me you’ve not thought about this?
jollycopper: You’re saying the disembodied are smarter than the living? You’ve not trolled the forums much, have you?
ribaldhumor: I’m not talking about the dross of humanity, Alex. Tell me, what are you doing online right now, in addition to our chat.
jollycopper: I’m reading my mail, checking a few news sites. You’ve got a fast connection here.
ribaldhumor: Is that all?
jollycopper: All right, I’m updating my blog and checking my ad revenues. And I’m searching for anything about your center.
ribaldhumor: And how long have we been talking?
jollycopper: About 20 seconds. I get the point. Some of us can think and communicate faster than we could when alive.
ribaldhumor: That’s why I want to hire you, and others like you. The disembodied “who have learned to exceed the limitations of the flesh and travel the