Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians

The kimono was of a very rich dark blue silk and, though it fit him quite well, there was something… wrong about the entire presentation. More than just the fact that the kimono itself wasn’t something a regular person in America wore. Sing’s chest parted the front of the silk, and the loose garment hung tied about the waist with a large sash tucked beneath his massive stomach.
    “Uh, nice to meet you Sing… Sing,” I said.
    “You can just call my Sing,” the large man replied.
    “Ask him what his Talent is,” Grandpa whispered.
    “Oh,” I said. “Um, what’s your Talent, Sing?”
    “I can trip and fall to the ground,” Sing said.
    I blinked. “ That’s a Talent?”
    “It’s not as grand as some, I know,” Sing said, “but it serves me well.”
    “And the kimono?” I asked
    “I come from a different kingdom than your grandfather,” Sing said. “I am from Mokia, while your grandfather and Quentin are from Melerand.”
    “Okay,” I said. “But what difference does that make?”
    “It means I have to wear a different disguise from the rest of you,” Sing explained. “That way, I won’t stand out as much. If I look like a foreigner to America, people will ignore me.”
    I paused. “Whatever,” I finally said.
    “It makes perfect sense,” Grandpa Smedry said. “Trust me. We’ve researched this.” He turned and pointed to the other man. “Now, this is your cousin Quentin Smedry.” Short and wiry, Quentin wore a sharp tuxedo like that of Grandpa Smedry, complete with a red carnation on the lapel. He had dark brown hair, pale skin, and freckles. Like Sing, he looked to be about thirty years old.
    “Well met, young Oculator,” Quentin said from behind his dark sunglasses.
    “And what is your Talent?” I dutifully asked.
    “I can say things that make absolutely no sense whatsoever.”
    “I thought everyone here had that Talent,” I noted.
    Nobody laughed. Free Kingdomers never get my jokes.
    “He’s also really sneaky,” Grandpa Smedry said.
    Quentin nodded.
    “Great,” I said. “So, are both of you… Oculators?”
    “Oh, goodness no,” Sing said. “We’re cousins to the Smedry family, not members of the direct line.”
    “Didn’t you notice the glasses?” Grandpa Smedry asked. “They’re wearing Warrior’s Lenses, one of the only kinds of Lenses that a non-Oculator can use.”
    “Um, yes,” I said. “Actually, I did notice the glasses. I… noticed the tuxedos too. Is there a reason you dress like that? If we go out like this, we’ll kind of stand out, right?”
    “Maybe the young lord has a point,” Sing said, rubbing his chin.
    Lord? I thought. I had no idea what to make of that.
    “Should we get Alcatraz a disguise too, Lord Smedry?” Quentin asked my grandfather.
    “No, no,” Grandpa Smedry said. “He isn’t supposed to wear a suit at his age. At least, I don’t think…”
    “I’m fine,” I said quickly.
    The collection of Smedrys nodded.
    Now, many of you Hushlanders may be scoffing at the disguises used by the Smedry group. Before you pass judgment on them, realize that they were somewhat out of their element. Imagine if you were suddenly thrust into a different culture, with very little knowledge of its customs or fashions. Would you know the difference between a Rounsfield tunic and a Larkian tunic? Would you be able to distinguish when to wear a batoled and when to wear a carfoo? Would you even know where you wrap a Carlflogian wickerstrap? No? Well, that’s because I just made all of those items up. But you didn’t know that, did you?
    Therefore, my point is proven. All things considered, I think the Smedrys did quite well. I’ve seen other infiltration teams – ones without Grandpa Smedry, who is widely held as the Free Kingdoms’ foremost expert on American culture and society. The last group that tried an infiltration without him ended up trying to sneak into the Federal Reserve Bank disguised as potted plants.
    They got watered.
    “Are we ready, then?” Grandpa Smedry said. “My grandson will be leading this infiltration. Our target is the central downtown library.”
    Sing and Quentin glanced at each other, looking a bit surprised. Grandpa had mentioned a library infiltration to Sing, but apparently the downtown library was not what he’d expected. It made me wonder, once again, what I was getting myself into.
    “I realize this will be a most ambitious mission, gentlemen,” Grandpa Smedry said. “But we have no