Alien Diplomacy

minds at ease.
    I studied the back of Ishmael’s head. His hair was neatly trimmed. The beard was clearly false. He was driving with his left hand on the top of the steering wheel, while he fiddled with his radio without looking at it.
    His radio crackled. “Whale One, do you copy?”
    He grabbed the microphone. It looked just like the ones in all the cop shows and movies. “Whale One here. Catfish and company safe. Repeat, Catfish and company safe.”
    “Orcas got away,” a third voice shared. “Other fishermen out in the water caused disruption.”
    “Roger that. Whale One out.” He switched the radio to another band, still not looking at it.
    Olga’s beliefs gelled with things Oliver had told me only a couple of days ago. I dug out my phone and pulled up the Internet, took a stab and did a specific name search. Happily, A-C phones were top of the line with about 100 Gs to everyone else’s 3, 4, or 5. I had what I was looking for in moments. Sure damn enough.
    I showed it to White. “Huh. Interesting, Missus Martini.”
    I decided to take the leap. “So, Officer Melville, your parentswere of a literary turn of mind, I see. Can I call you Herman, or are you really attached to Ishmael for everyday conversations?”
    He jerked the steering wheel so hard that Prince lost his balance and rolled onto the floor. “What…what are you talking about?”
    “Dude, you weren’t that hard to find.” I studied my phone. “The entire K-9 division was let go due to budget cuts. You were all allowed to keep your dogs, presumably because your Chief of Police wasn’t thrilled with this. There were only twelve of you.” I looked up. “The other teams are working what parts of the city?”
    “You’re way off base, lady,” Ishmael said as Prince righted himself and shoved his head between us so we could each scratch behind an ear. We complied.
    “You know, I can get why you’re not much for Herman, it’s sort of old-fashioned. But Ishmael is worse, in that sense. Maybe I’ll just call you Officer Moe. And I’m not off base at all. I’m actually Catfish, and I know it. No idea what you’ve named everyone else with me in your hunt for whoever the hell Moby Dick is, but I can recognize my code name when I hear it. I do appreciate the timely save, though.”
    “I was in the area.”
    “Right. You and the rest of the fishing expedition were lurking around. You’ve been in my area every day for the past few days. Why? And why all the elaborate taxi ruse stuff?”
    “Really, I’m just a gypsy cab driver who likes to help out the good citizens of Washington, D.C.”
    “And I’m actually Mata Hari, I’ve just aged really freaking well. Look, why all this ridiculous subterfuge? Especially since you appear to be on the side of truth, justice, and the American Way.”
    Ishmael opened his mouth, but White beat him to it. “Really, time is of the essence. Please stop your attempts to lie to us and tell us the truth. We might, in return, be willing to trust you and perhaps even share pertinent information.”
    Our driver considered for a few moments, while the radio crackled and people shared the unsurprising news that, now that an officer of the law had arrived at Sheridan Circle, there were no signs of any gunmen or any other form of disturbance. He heaved a sigh. “Yes, fine. And please continue to call me Ishmael.”
    I snorted a laugh. “Why?”
    He gave me a pained look. “It’s my code name. Look, we’ve been remaining incognito because we didn’t want to get into it with your friends.”
    “You mean you don’t want the C.I.A. aware that you’re trampling onto their turf because instead of fighting with you, they’ll merely arrest you?”
    “What do you mean?” he asked, far too casually.
    “I mean that you don’t own a badge anymore. None of your unit does. So, in the olden days, if you’d crossed into Federal territory, you’d get chewed out, but your Chief or Captain could still cover for you. Now? Now you’re a private citizen. And the Feds aren’t nice to interfering taxi drivers who have no legal authority to detain prisoners or kidnap ambassadors or anything.”
    “I can’t confirm or deny your accusations.”
    “Officer Moe, seriously, if you actually want to help us bring down Titan Security, you’re going to have to give us some assistance, starting with information.”
    This time, Ishmael slammed on the brakes and pulled over so fast Prince wasn’t the only one losing