Alien Diplomacy

going?”
    Eugene shook Jeff’s hand. “It’s going as well as it ever does.”
    “That bad, huh?” Jeff shook his head again. “You two can’t be doing that poorly.”
    “We suck. We’re trying hard not to care, but it’s true. And Lockwood wants to disavow all knowledge of us at the President’s Ball. Do we have to go?”
    “Yes,” Jeff said firmly. “Both of you.” He gave Eugene a commiserating smile. “It could be worse.”
    “How?” Eugene asked. “I certainly don’t want to humiliate Lydia, but it seems as though that’s all I do. I’m not an outgoing person. She used to like that.”
    “I’m sure she still does. I mean, Jeff still likes me the way I am. Right?” I tried not to sound worried about his reply.
    Jeff laughed. “Yes, baby, I love you for exactly how you are.” He sighed. “Try not to worry about Saturday night, either one of you.”
    We exchanged some more meaningless chitchat, then Eugene went to his car. “So, why are you really here?” I asked as soon as Eugene waved and drove off.
    “Just wanted to see you. Like I said, suicide-level depression.” Of course, A-Cs couldn’t lie, at least, not most of them. Jeff was awful at it, though he tried hard. Like now. I had yet to share that looking at your shoes was a dead giveaway—I mean, why help them with it?
    “I’m willing to bet we give that off every class. So there has to be a reason other than that, or you’d pick me up every week. Or, better, refuse to let me go. So, what’s going on?”
    Jeff sighed. “I’ll explain in the car. Or, rather, he will.”
    “He who?” I asked as Jeff opened the door and helped me inside.
    “Me, who.”
    I knew the voice better than I knew Jeff’s, but only because I’d known it a lot longer. “Hey, Chuckie, what brings you by to watch my latest shame?”
    He shook his head as Jeff got in next to me and shut the door. “Nice to see you’re dealing well with it.”
    I snorted. Unlike Lockwood’s, it was neither dainty nor ladylike. “Dude, you’d hate it, too, trust me. Especially the people in class with us. You’d loathe them.”
    “So you’ve whined to me for weeks. I know most of their respective spouses, so I’m sure you’re right. However, I’m hoping I have at least a partial solution.”
    “I can take this class from someone else?”
    Chuckie laughed. “No, sorry, you’re stuck. But I think it’s your overall attitude that’s the problem.”
    “I’m doing just fine in the Diplomacy for Beginners class.”
    “Because it’s taught by someone you like,” Chuckie said patiently.
    “True.” My mother’s best friend, my Aunt Emily, had been a senator’s daughter. She still lived in the area and occasionally taught the diplomacy class. In honor of my ascension into the ranks of all things political, she’d enthusiastically taken it upon herself to train the entire new A-C Diplomatic Corps on the ins and outs of our new jobs. She wasn’t aware that half of the Corps were aliens, nor that the former Diplomatic Corps had been eaten. Some things I tried not to share with my mother’s oldest friend.
    Speaking of that which had eaten the Corps, a bundle of cuteness peeked out from Chuckie’s coat pocket. It saw me, purred, andleaped into my lap. “Hey, Fluffy. How’s a Poofy thing?” Fluffy purred loudly while I petted it and relaxed a little. The Poofs had been among the cool things we’d gotten during Operation Invasion, or, as others insisted on calling it, my wedding. Jeff was part of the Royal Family of Alpha Four, and, as such, the Poofs were a part of that whole deal.
    The Poofs looked a lot like tiny, fluffy kittens with no ears or tails, but with shiny black button eyes. They were fluffy balls on tiny legs and paws, and I loved them. I had one, but the Poofs, like my Glock, were off limits at the Washington Wife class, so Poofikins had to stay home. Which was a pity, because I found the Poofs very soothing. And since they could go Jeff-sized and quite toothy when danger threatened, they were wonderful personal protection bundles of cuteness.
    Despite being Alpha Four animals, in the Poofs’ world, if you named it, it was yours. Ergo, a lot of Poofs belonged to humans, Chuckie being one of the first, but certainly not the last, to get one.
    I noted something while I petted Fluffy and enjoyed its purrs. The limo wasn’t moving, and Jeff wasn’t arguing with Chuckie, glaring at him, or giving off any kind of “go away you bother