Alien Tango

Martini’s mother plastered a smile onto her face. “How nice to finally get to meet you. I’d hoped Jeffrey would bring you by sooner, and not because of work.”
    “Well, he’s wanted to,” I lied, keeping a happy smile on my face. “But you know, we’ve been so busy, one national and international emergency after another. Hard to find the time.”
    “Clearly. Hard to be on time, either.”
    I let it pass. “Evil doesn’t keep nine to five hours.”
    “Quaint. These are my daughters—Sylvia, Elizabeth, Constance, Lauren, and Marianne.”
    “Nice to meet you all.” I assumed she’d called them out in age order. They all looked like their mother. They all gave me forced smiles. Okay, Martini’s women really didn’t like me.
    There were a couple of other women in here who didn’t look like family. A mother-daughter team, if I had to guess. “And this is Barbara and her daughter, Doreen.” The older one glared at me, the younger one looked at her hands.
    “Nice to meet you, too. Are you cousins?”
    “No,” Barbara said icily. “Doreen is Jeffrey’s intended.”

CHAPTER 49
    “BEG PARDON?” I could have sworn she said something that didn’t compute.
    “Doreen is Jeffrey’s intended,” Barbara repeated again. “They are betrothed. Supposed to marry. Do you need another definition?”
    “No, got it.” I looked around. Claudia and Lorraine looked both shocked and freaked in that bad, “we should have seen this coming” way. All the other women looked triumphant. Other than Marianne, the youngest sister. She looked resigned and a bit unhappy. “Interesting. So, has Jeff agreed to this?”
    “It’s not his to agree any more,” his mother said.
    “Oh, really? Why is that?”
    “We have traditions, we have rules. Jeffrey is thirty years old, and it’s time for him to declare for someone.” Ah, that declaration thing Michael had mentioned.
    “What about Christopher? Is he required to declare, too?”
    Eye shifting. I loved A-Cs—even their women couldn’t lie. “No,” Lucinda said.
    “Really? Why not? He’s the same age as Jeff.” Not that I wanted them to drag Christopher off into an arranged marriage, either, but I had to keep talking or lose it totally.
    No one answered. I looked at Doreen. She didn’t seem thrilled . . . or jealous. She seemed uncomfortable. “So, Doreen, you’re all happy to be marrying Jeff?”
    “Um, yeah,” she said looking down.
    “You’re about, what, Lorraine’s age?”
    “Yeah.” Eyes still downcast, whole body cringing. Barbara nudged her. “Twenty-three.”
    “Wow. Seven years younger than Jeff. Not that age is an issue.”
    “No.” Doreen moved away from her mother and closer to Lorraine, who looked straight at me and gave me a very tiny nod. I loved my girls.
    “So, Doreen—your parents really hate the fact you’re dating a human, don’t they?”
    Immediate reactions. Other than Lorraine and Claudia, who were giving me “go girl” signs, every single woman looked at me with their mouths open and eyes wide. Except Doreen, who burst into tears. “I don’t want to marry Jeff! He barely knows me, and I don’t want to live in the desert! And I don’t want to leave Irving! He’s the nicest man in the world!”
    Irving? No argument from me. My dad’s name was Solomon, after all. “No worries, Doreen.”
    She looked at me, tears streaming down. “They won’t let us get married! Irving’s done everything he was supposed to—he even converted to our religion. But they say he’s not right for me.”
    “Yeah, they really hate me.” I looked at Lucinda and Barbara. “You chicks are real pieces of work, you know that? What year do you think this is, eighteen-fifty? And what country, Russia? My great-grandparents had arranged marriages, but they’re all dead now. My grandparents had it suggested to them. They said, ‘No, thank you.’ ”
    I looked at Alfred, who contrived to look shocked. “You know, crap like this makes Jeff sick, literally. It affects him physically, mentally, emotionally.” I looked back at Lucinda. “No wonder he doesn’t think you care about him or Christopher. The worst thing ever to happen to them was Terry dying, in more ways than one.”
    I spun around and left the kitchen, hoping I was headed back to the family room. I wasn’t halfway there when someone was next to me. Doreen, of all people. She grabbed my arm. “Help me, please help me.”
    Lorraine and Claudia were with us now.