Alien Tango

we’d have medical.”
    “That should leave room for . . . Jeff, only, in the back.” Good lord, we were going to die.
    “No, it’s a convertible. And in mint condition. Plus, we can shove Serene into the hood, since the engine’s in the back.”
    “Oh, well, that makes all the difference.” I looked at the others. “We’re going to die. Just thought I’d share.”
    “We’ll be fine,” Martini said reassuringly.
    No sooner were the words out of his mouth than I saw two snouts, one in particular, I recognized. “Oh, really? ’Cause I would swear that Gigantagator and Alliflash have spotted that some of the people they hate most in the world are here, just waiting to give them a second chance at a feeding frenzy.”
    No sooner were these words out of my mouth than the shield disappeared. Martini and Christopher each managed to grab Gower, who wasn’t unconscious but was pretty close.
    I went back to the phone. “James? I just want to say that it’s been a pleasure, and I really hope you find more friends and a new boyfriend soon. Try not to mourn us past five years.”
    Then Alliflash ran toward us, and I was too busy screaming to chat any more.

CHAPTER 57
    I’D EXPERIENCED SOME SHOCKING THINGS in my life, most of which had happened in the last five months. Aliens being real, totally gorgeous, and God’s gift to sex. Lots of life on other planets out there, much of it unfriendly. Parasitic superbeings that wanted to kill people. My mother being the head of antiterrorism and a former member of the Mossad. My father being a cryptologist for NASA’s ET Division. Every single event of the past twenty-four hours. But nothing had prepared me for what happened next.
    Alliflash was in front of us, one snap away from making Martini have to dress up as a pirate every Halloween, when it spun around and started hissing at the other alligators.
    Gigantagator did the same thing: got right up to where it was in position to have a Christopher-snack, then spun and did the same, only louder.
    “Back up, slowly,” Gower said.
    We all did, Martini and Christopher still holding Gower up. Alliflash and Gigantagator were snapping, but not at us. Alliflash started to trot around us in a circle—it moved as we did, hissing and snapping at the ’gators surrounding us. Gigantagator rushed some of them and drove them back, moved nearer to us, and did the same thing in another direction.
    “What’s going on?” I asked in a stage whisper.
    “No idea,” Martini said in the same voice. “Just don’t mess up whatever it is, and we’ll be fine.”
    I realized I still had my phone in my hand and hadn’t hung up. I could hear Reader yelling. “Yes? Sorry, what?”
    “Are you all still alive?”
    “Amazingly, yes. I don’t know how, but we are. Not sure for how long.”
    “I think we’re close. Let me know if you see headlights.” I forced myself to look over my shoulder. Got to see Gigantagator chase off all the alligators that were behind us. Also spotted a couple of pinpoints of light. “Yeah, I see something that could be an ancient VW without enough room for all of us in the distance.”
    “Did I hear that right?” Martini asked.
    “Yes, you did.”
    “Girlfriend, stop complaining. At least it’s motorized.”
    “James, we’re going to draw lots for who gets to be ’gator chow. I’m not seeing the upside yet.” I was, instead, seeing Alliflash racing around hissing and snapping, ensuring that the few alligators behind us that Gigantagator hadn’t spooked would take the serious hint. The lights were getting brighter.
    In a minute or so I could hear the car. It sounded like it was going all out. Its all out didn’t sound like much over forty miles per hour. I knew Alliflash was faster, and I suspected Gigantagator was as well. Not to mention all their friends and relations.
    “Is that our ride?” Christopher asked, sounding mildly horrified.
    “Yes, I think so.”
    “He’s really in a VW? That wasn’t a joke?” Christopher sounded more horrified.
    “It’s apparently vintage, in mint condition, and a convertible. It’s also a Beetle, so, um, I want to say I think I have the most to live for. Ability to bear children and all that.”
    “We’ll be fine.” Martini seemed to have attached to this phrase. It dawned on me that he was as scared as I was, but he was both male and the highest-ranking individual here, and so he was doing what he was trained to—pretend to be calm, cool, and