All Together Dead

policeman, maybe you’ll be able to tell me…just how big is a cop’s nightstick?” Elmer Claire Vaudry asked.
    I was sitting beside the bride-to-be, Halleigh Robinson, since I’d been given the all-important task of recording each gift and its giver as Halleigh opened all the white-and-silver wrapped boxes and flowered gift bags.
    No one else seemed the least surprised that Mrs. Vaudry, a fortyish grade school teacher, was asking a bawdy question at this firmly middle-class, church lady event.
    “Why, I wouldn’t know, Elmer Claire,” Halleigh said demurely, and there was a positive chorus of disbelieving sniggers.
    “Well, now, what about the handcuffs?” Elmer Claire asked. “You ever use those handcuffs?”
    A fluttering of southern lady voices rose in the living room of Marcia Albanese, the hostess who’d agreed to let her house be the sacrificial lamb: the actual shower site. The other hostesses had had the lesser problems of bringing the food and the punch.
    “You are just something , Elmer Claire,” Marcia said from her spot by the refreshments table. But she was smiling. Elmer Claire had her role as the Daring One, and the others were glad to let her enjoy it.
    Elmer Claire would never have been so vulgar if old Caroline Bellefleur had been present at the shower. Caroline was the social ruler of Bon Temps. Miss Caroline was about a million years old and had a back stiffer than any soldier. Only something extreme would keep Miss Caroline home from a social event of this importance to her family, and something extreme had happened. Caroline Bellefleur had suffered a heart attack, to the amazement of everyone in Bon Temps. To her family, the event had not been a tremendous surprise.
    The grand Bellefleur double wedding (Halleigh and Andy’s, Portia and her accountant’s) had been set for the previous spring. It had been organized in a rush because of Caroline Bellefleur’s sudden deterioration in health. As it happened, even before the hurried-up wedding could be held, Miss Caroline had been felled by the attack. Then she’d broken her hip.
    With the agreement of Andy’s sister, Portia, and her groom, Andy and Halleigh had postponed the wedding until late October. But I’d heard Miss Caroline was not recovering as her grandchildren had hoped, and it seemed unlikely she ever would be back to her former self.
    Halleigh, her cheeks flushed, was struggling with the ribbon around a heavy box. I handed her a pair of scissors. There was some tradition about not cutting the ribbon, a tradition that somehow tied into predicting the number of children the bridal couple would produce, but I was willing to bet that Halleigh was ready for a quick solution. She snipped the ribbon on the side closest to her so no one would notice her callous disregard for custom. She flashed me a grateful look. We were all in our party best, of course, and Halleigh looked very cute and young in her light blue pantsuit with pink roses splashed on the jacket. She was wearing a corsage, of course, as the honoree.
    I felt like I was observing an interesting tribe in another country, a tribe that just happened to speak my language. I’m a barmaid, several rungs below Halleigh on the social ladder, and I’m a telepath, though people tended to forget about it since it is hard to believe, my outside being so normal. But I’d been on the guest list, so I’d made a big effort to fit in sartorially. I was pretty sure I’d succeeded. I was wearing a sleeveless tailored white blouse, yellow slacks, and orange-and-yellow sandals, and my hair was down and flowing smoothly past my shoulder blades. Yellow earrings and a little gold chain tied me all together. It might be late September, but it was hot as the six shades of hell. All the ladies were still dressed in their hot-weather finery, though a few brave souls had donned fall colors.
    I knew everyone at the shower, of course. Bon Temps is not a big place, and my family has lived in it for almost two hundred years. Knowing who people are is not the same as being comfortable with them, and I’d been glad to be given the job of recording the gifts. Marcia Albanese was sharper than I’d given her credit for being.
    I was certainly learning a lot. Though I was trying hard not to listen in, and my little task helped in that, I was getting a lot of mental overflow.
    Halleigh was in hog heaven. She was getting presents, she was the center of attention, and she was getting married to a