Apocalypsis 01 - Kahayatle

I’m not gonna try it anytime soon, I can tell you dat.   I need my hands to ride dat bike.”
    I laughed.
    “How about dat one?”   He stopped and pointed to a tree that had several bright orange fruits almost at the top.
    “Can you climb trees?” I asked, my eyebrow raised.   “Because I can’t climb that high.   Not in those kind of trees.”
    “I can try.   But really it should be you.   You are more little dan me.   Dese branches aren’t very big.”
    We walked over to the tree and looked up.   There was one fruit that was hanging low enough that Bodo could almost reach it - almost, but not quite.   He jumped up several times and only barely missed it.
    He crouched down.   “Here.   Get on my choulders.   Den you can get it.”
    My eyes widened.   All I could think about was how bad I smelled.   I really didn’t want my body parts being that close to his nose until I’d had a shower.   Or two.
    “Uh, no thanks.”
    He looked up at me from his position near the ground.   “Why not?   Are you afraid of heights dat small?”
    “No.”
    “Okay, den.   What’s da problem?”
    “There’s no problem.”
    “Hey,” he smiled.   “Dat’s my line.”
    I smiled back.   “Never mind.   Let’s just go back.”
    He shook his head, sticking his lips out in a pout.   “No.   I’m not going anywhere.   Get on my shoulders and get dat fruit.   Don’t be afraid of da little tree.”
    “I’m not afraid of the tree, idiot.”
    “What are you afraid of, den?   Me?”   He pointed to his back, his face looking at the ground now.   “No.   You’re not afraid of Bodo.   Come on, den.   Get up dare.”
    “No,” I said, getting frustrated now.   He just wouldn’t take no for an answer and I didn’t have a good explanation to give him that didn’t involve divulging my hangups.
    He stood up and walked over closer to me, forcing me to take a step back to maintain a comfortable distance between us.
    “We’re a family now.   You can tell me what da problem is.”
    “We’re not family … we’re maybe in a tribe together, but you have to do more than go on a half-day bike ride with me to earn family status.”
    He raised his eyebrows up and down a few times at me and smiled.   “Yes, but I got you dat big butt seat with da bike, right?   Dat was something special, I think.”
    I laughed.   “Yeah, that was good.   My butt’s not nearly as sore now.”
    “See?   Bodo’s a good guy.   Climb up, okay?   Let’s get dat skinny guy Peter some fruit.   He’s gonna starve to death soon.”
    That was like driving a knife in my heart for some reason.   “Wow, you play dirty, don’t you?”
    He shrugged, unapologetically.   “I’m Cherman.   We’re tough people.   We suffer and we get up and we keep going.   I have been told dat I am very methodical and persistent.”
    “Are all Germans like you?”
    “I don’t know.   All da ones I know are like me.   But not as good in da face or da body as me.”
    “Of course not,” I said, laughing.   He was probably right, but there was no way in hell I was going to admit that now or ever.
    “So.   You’re getting up now, right?”
    “As long as you don’t mind the fact that I stink to high heaven.”
    “What is high heaven?   Is dat your … you know … private placess?”
    I nearly gagged, accidentally inhaling some drool.   I tried to correct him before his brain could wander any farther down that lane.   “Gah, no!   Holy … Kack! … No.   Shit.   Jesus , Bodo, it’s an expression.   Stink to high heaven means you smell bad.   Everywhere, not any particular part of you.”
    “Ooooh, I see.”   His face turned a little red.   “Well, dat’s embarrassing, isn’t it?   I’m sorry.   You can slap me if you want.   I deserve it.”   He held out his cheek for me.
    “No, never mind.   You didn’t know.”   The truth was, my high heavens did stink, and I was pretty sure I wanted to be the only one who knew that.
    “Okay, I can solve dis problem.   I will get on your shoulders,” he suggested.
    “Are you nuts?   You must weigh one-seventy or one-eighty.”
    “Maybe.   But you don’t want to get on my choulders and Peter is slowly starving to death right now, so it’s da only way.”
    I rolled my eyes.   “Fine!   Bend over, stupid.   And hold your breath so you don’t smell my stink.”
    Bodo pinched his nose and squatted down so I could climb up, which I did while