Apocalypsis 04 - Haven

not get caught by canners?”
    “I think I need to try.” I wasn’t about to guarantee him I could accomplish that without paying a price of some sort. I wasn’t that stupid.
    He sighed heavily. “I guess I have some plans to coordinate. When do you think you’ll go?”
    “Couple days, a week. Whenever we can. When a few more people are strong enough to go with me.”
    “Good. That gives me time to put some things together.”
    “Things like what?”
    “You’ll see.” He rolled over and was soon asleep.
    I considered ignoring the other elephant in the room in favor of much-needed rest, but my conscience wouldn’t let me. Bodo’s breathing was regular but missing the light snoring he sometimes had.
    “Bodo? Are you awake?” I whispered.
    “Yes. I’m very tired but I haff a lot of things on my mind, I guess.”
    “Me too.” I wasn’t sure where to start.
    “Do you want to talk to me about somesing?”
    “Yes. I do, actually.”
    Here it comes. The moment where I admit I’m an asshole. “Remember when you were gone … at the Amazon’s place?”
    “Yes, of course. How can I forget dat?”
    “Yeah, well … something happened while you were gone. It’s not a big deal really, but I just think I should tell you anyway.”
    Bodo said nothing for a long time. I was starting to feel sick by the time he responded. “I am not goingk to like dis, am I?”
    My ears were hot with shame. “Probably not. But I hope it’s not going to be a big deal to you because it’s not to me.”
    “Tell me what it is, please.”
    I was on my back, looking up at the ceiling. I wanted to stay that way so I could avoid the shame of seeing his reaction, but that was the coward’s way out. I rolled onto my side, facing him. I couldn’t see his expression in the darkness, but I knew he was there by the heat of his breath hitting my face.
    “When you were gone, I was seriously stressing about you being dead. No one knew what had happened and what everyone saw you doing last was fighting canners right by the place that eventually was blown up and on fire.”
    “You thought I was deadt.”
    “Yes. Well, no. I wasn’t sure. I kept telling myself you could be alive, but then I couldn’t figure out why you wouldn’t come back to Kahayatle.”
    “You mean back to you.”
    I sighed. “Yeah, that too.”
    “You know I tried, right?”
    “Yes, I do now. But at the time, I didn’t, you know? And as the days went by and you still didn’t show up, I got more and more depressed. I don’t know … I kind of felt like I’d lost my dad all over again in a way. I kept thinking how much he would have liked you.”
    Bodo reached out and rubbed my arm. “Thank you, Bryn. I know dat is very special for you to say dat.”
    His being so nice just made me feel worse. “That’s not what I need to tell you, though.”
    “Okay, I’m listening.”
    “After you left, someone in the swamp kind of made it known that he … you know, wanted to be with me … like you were.” My face was flaming red right now, and it only got worse when Bodo’s hand went still and then left my arm.
    “Continue,” he said.
    “Everyone thought you were dead. He didn’t mean anything bad or disrespectful by it. He wouldn’t have done it if you had been there.”
    “Who was it?”
    “I’d rather not say.” There was so much potential for bad blood in this situation, I hoped to avoid it as much as possible by keeping his name secret.
    “Dat’s okay. I know who it was. It’s dat Paci.”
    I felt like I was going to throw up hearing the tone of Bodo’s voice. It was dead-sounding. No emotion. The love that was usually there shining through was gone.
    “Yes. It was. He’s not a bad person, Bodo.”
    “No, he’s not a bad person. I know dat. But he’s a person who wants to be Mr. Bryn, I know dat too. And if you want him, den I guess dat is your choice.”
    “I don’t. I just have to tell you that something happened with him, and I’m not proud of it or happy about it. It just … happened.”
    Again there was a long pause before he spoke. “Just tell me. I am imagining a lot of thingks und I prefer da truth.”
    “We kissed. We talked and we kissed. One time.”
    “What kind of kiss?” His voice was strained.
    I didn’t want to answer. I wanted to lie. I wanted the truth to not even exist. But it didn’t matter. It happened, and there was no denying it.
    “It was a big one. It was meaningful.”
    “Oh. I see.” He rolled