Apocalypsis 04 - Haven

to fight yet, and the girls were still too weak. Jenny was on a blanket behind them, sitting up, also waving at me.
    I waved back for a second, feeling a little sick about leaving all these kids behind - kids who couldn’t fight well enough to protect themselves if they were viciously attacked. Fohi’s excitement about demolitions and traps didn’t feel quite so crazy to me right now.
    Peter and I faced one another in the entrance. It felt especially wrong to leave him without my protection. I broke out in a cold sweat imagining a group of canners coming here and hurting him while I was gone. All the guns in the armory wouldn’t protect them against a sneak attack.
    “You be careful out there,” he said, tears in his eyes. “I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you. You’re my soul-sister.”
    “I know. You’re my soul-brother. I’ll be okay, I promise. But if something does happen to me, I want you to know that I’ll be up there,” I pointed to the sky, “haunting you and making sure you’re okay.”
    He smiled through his tears. “You know I don’t like ghosts.”
    “You’ll like my ghost. I’ll sing songs to you and stuff.”
    “Gah, please don’t,” he said, wiping tears from his cheeks with the back of his hand. “Seriously. You’re totally tone deaf. It’ll scare me and make me pee.”
    I ignored his insult, since I knew for a fact that I had a good voice. I pulled him into a hug. “Be good while I’m gone. I’ll do everything I can to bring your man back to you.”
    Peter snorted over my shoulder. “Whatever. Let me go so I can give you my list.”
    I released him from my embrace. “What list?” I’d seen the mountain of them he’d already made. I had no idea what I’d need a list for on this journey, though. Maybe he was going to give me step-by-step instructions on how to rescue kids from a swamp without getting caught. That would be a handy list to have.
    “ This list,” he said, handing me a folded up piece of paper.
    I opened it. There were at least fifty items on it. I started reading out loud. “Looms, solar bread oven …” I skipped down several items and continued. “… cows, horses, goats …” I looked back up at him, mostly stunned.
    “Don’t give me that look.”
    “What look? The you-must-be-effing-kidding-me look?”
    “Yes. That one.”
    I turned partway around to show him my backpack, jerking my thumb at it over my shoulder. “Dude, you see that? It’s called a backpack. There’s not a single thing on this list that will fit in there.”
    “I know that. I don’t expect you to do that. The loom alone probably weighs fifty pounds.”
    “Well, what exactly do you expect me to do then? Find a semi?”
    “Sure, that would work.” He grinned at me.
    “Boy, you done lost your mind.” I tapped him lightly on the cheek. “But you’re cute. You get points for that.” I tried to give him the list back, but he refused to take it.
    “Just do what you can,” he said, grabbing onto the fence. “And don’t get shot or worse.”
    Neither of us said the word that he was thinking: eaten .
    “I’ll do everything I can not to, I promise.”
    “Good. I’ll see you in what …? A week?”
    “Or less. Keep your eyes peeled for canners. Shoot anyone who gives you any crap.”
    “Yes, ma’am!” He gave me a salute. He tried to smile after, but his lips trembled. “Just … be safe.”
    I stepped outside the fence, wheeling my bike. I put the kickstand down so I could help him push the gate on its tracks until it was completely closed.
    He turned the key, and the heavy clanking of the lock mechanism felt like the sealing of my fate. I was no longer on the inside of Haven looking out; I was on the outside of my safe-haven looking out towards a very scary near-future.
    I climbed up on the big-butt-seat bike and pedaled rapidly to catch up to my friends. They’d already made it fifty yards away, none of them as maudlin as me with their goodbyes. As far as they were concerned we were on a quick mission that would be somewhat easily accomplished.
    I wished I could be as confident as they were.
    ***
    “I assume we’re taking the highway,” said Rob.
    “Yeah. Unless you guys have a better idea,” I responded.
    The rhythmic clicks of our bike pedals and gears made it easy for my mind to wander. I’d been trying to picture a way to get all that junk on Peter’s list back to Haven and had been coming up empty.
    “Nah. Highway’s