Baby Be Mine

Johnny.
    ‘She’s happy,’ he notes. ‘I’m glad for her.’
    Maybe I should feel jealous, but I don’t.
    ‘Are you alright?’ he asks in my ear as glittering explosions light up the sky over our heads.
    ‘Yes. I’m fine.’ We stare at each other for a long moment. He reaches across and strokes my cheek with his thumb.
    ‘People will talk,’ I say as the pyrotechnics come to an end.
    ‘So?’
    I shake my head and look away. ‘I don’t think I can go there again.’
    ‘Why not?’ He looks hurt.
    ‘How long is it going to be before you get bored and need to . . . I don’t know, add another notch to your belt?’ I glance up at him unhappily.
    He gives me a hard look. ‘Without wanting to sound crass, I’ve been there and done that. I don’t need to do it again.’
    ‘How do you know?’
    ‘I know. I don’t need anyone else. I was too fucked-up to admit that to myself, but it’s true.’
    I smile a small smile. ‘You’ve really got to stop swearing.’
    ‘Fuck off,’ he says with a grin and kisses me right on the lips. I start with surprise. He pulls away and stares straight at me. ‘You know I’m far from perfect. And I know that, too. But all that shit . . . all that stuff . . . It’s in the past. I don’t want to be that person anymore.’
    ‘Hey, Johnny!’
    We both turn to see Scott, the lead singer from Contour Lines, walking towards us.
    ‘Alright, mate, how’s it going?’ Johnny says, shaking his hand and patting his back. ‘Aren’t you guys on stage soon?’
    ‘Yeah, man, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about,’ Scott replies, glancing at me.
    ‘This is Meg.’ Johnny puts his arm around my shoulders.
    ‘Hi,’ I say, feeling awkward. Maybe Christian never mentioned me, but they spent so much time together . . . Scott won’t think much of me if he knows. ‘I’m going to nip to the ladies’,’ I say, hurrying away.
    I stand in front of one of the basins and look in the mirror. My face is flushed and I run my hands under the cold-water tap and then press them to my cheeks. I can hear the band has started to play in the marquee. I walk back out into the throng, but Johnny is nowhere to be seen.
    ‘Excuse me, Meg?’ A female roadie appears in front of me. She’s dressed all in black and is wearing an earpiece.
    ‘Yes?’ I ask, confused.
    ‘Johnny’s agreed to do a number.’ She indicates the stage where Contour Lines are playing their latest single. ‘Can you come with me?’ I nod and follow her through the crowd to the backstage area. We climb the stairs and she leaves me in the darkness. I feel a hand on my back and spin around to see Johnny.
    ‘Do you mind?’ he shouts in my ear as a soundman hooks up an amp to an electric guitar and hands it over.
    I shake my head and smile at him as he puts the guitar strap over his head. He swings the instrument behind him so the strap is pulled tight against his chest. I have a sudden desire to put my hands on his hips, but then Scott introduces a ‘special guest’ and Johnny raises his eyebrows at me before striding out on stage.
    I still remember the first time I saw him play a stadium, the sound of eighty thousand people chanting and banging like tribal warriors before the concert had even started. When he launched into one of his greatest hits, the crowd roared . . . I’ll never forget the sight of tens of thousands of people jumping up and down as one. Of course, here and now there are fewer than one and a half thousand, but they still go absolutely bonkers as he steps up close to the mic and speaks into it.
    ‘I wrote this song for the love of my life. The mother of my son. She’s here tonight.’ He looks backstage at me, and I stand stock-still in shock as he starts to sing my song. His voice fills up the marquee, deep and soulful as he closes his eyes, and when he turns and stares at me again, I feel like he’s piercing my soul.
    I don’t have the strength to resist him anymore. I know I have to let go and give in, even if it ruins me. But I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t give it a try. I’d just be a shadow of myself, never truly knowing happiness, only pain.
    He comes off stage to stupendous applause and then his hands are cupping my face and he’s kissing me. I kiss him back, passionately, as the world around me spins. He pulls away, but it’s me who speaks first.
    ‘Let’s go.’
    We practically run to the car together, hand in hand, as I try not to giggle. He revs up the engine and