Behind the Albergue Door: Inspiration Agony Adventure on the Camino de Santiago

them.
    Why you might want to take a break occasionally
    Drawing continuous comparisons between fellow pilgrims and things their children have done. Their mood gets a little dark when the novelty of shared bathrooms wears off. There is a fifty-fifty chance they will try to sleep with you.
    The Bucket List
    Recognizable traits
    Grey hair and two walking sticks. Spending an abnormal amount of time in the bathroom. They never go outside without a hat with a large brim.
    Reasons they are great to have around
    A pleasant demeanor stemming from a true appreciation for this opportunity. They never want to take a turn on the shared computer but always give away their cheese.
    Why you might want to take a break occasionally
    They always need a bottom bunk. Snoring is seemingly mandatory. Who the hell is Jimmy Carter and why do they like him so much?
    The Journey of Self-Discovery
    Recognizable traits
    Seem bewildered and confused as to how to start an epiphany. Often seen trying to figure out the new phone they bought to replace the one they lost along with their job. Walking alone in intense concentration.
    Reasons they are great to have around
    Obstinately open to anything the Camino has to teach them (including new card games). They are seriously humble. Will believe anything.
    Why you might want to take a break occasionally
    Deep meaning is attached to everything from beautiful rainbows to prematurely ripe bananas. Often seem one broken strap or new blister away from a sniper-in-the-clock-tower episode. Self-reflection often makes them cry.
    The Gap Year
    Recognizable traits
    The large noise-cancelling headphones that make them look like they should be waving a plane in for landing. Earnestly trying to convince people to keep drinking past 10 pm. Referring to it as Santiago de Consuela.
    Reasons they are great to have around
    You’ll never be the drunkest one. Having someone around to bum cigarettes from. A handy reference for all Rihanna-related questions.
    Why you might want to take a break occasionally
    Waiting while they do their hair. Repeated use of the terms “yolo” and “cray cray”. Their only travel stories are about spring break in Cancún last year.
    The “True” Pilgrim
    Recognizable traits
    Asking for directions to the local “refugio”. The pity in their eyes when they see you reading a guidebook. Eating alone.
    Reasons they are great to have around
    A cautionary tale regarding only children and homeschooling. Their unbridled enthusiasm makes your moaning seem almost laid back. The look on the hospitalero’s face when told that charging €5 per night for a bed is equivalent to slapping St. James in the face.
    Why you might want to take a break occasionally
    Feeling ashamed about checking your email. All the arbitrary rules can cause stress headaches. Getting caught checking into a hotel is punishable by caning.
    The Movie Buff
    Recognizable traits
    Their backpack matches Martin Sheen’s from “The Way”. Constant complaints about the movie “not mentioning anything about the pain”. Crossing the Pyrenees on day 1 they suggest travelling in a group for safety.
    Reasons they are great to have around
    They can point out all the landmarks from the film. They still believe all Dutch guys are jolly. They no longer expect Canadians to be.
    Why you might want to take a break occasionally
    They actually believe you could take a swing at a cop and walk away the next day. They think it’s cute to fail in an attempt to quit smoking. The goatee that matches Emilio Estevez’s.
    Just Here for the Party
    Recognizable traits
    Spanish. Drunk. They appeared out of thin air in León.
    Reasons they are great to have around
    Lightening the atmosphere. Learning a lot of new Spanish profanity. Feeling energetic when you start hiking before anyone else in your dorm room has woken up.
    Why you might want to take a break occasionally
    The difficulty of falling asleep to the clink of wine glasses and people bellowing “Salud!” every eight minutes. Wine belches in a small space. Morning lineups for the toilet.
    The Returnee
    Recognizable traits
    A ridiculously small backpack. Enthusiastically describing the next town in great detail while still in the one before. Taking lots of breaks to just soak it all in.
    Reasons they are great to have around
    Relentless grinning. Hearing about how much harder everything was last time around. They know all the best places to buy bananas.
    Why you might want to take a break