Behind the Albergue Door: Inspiration Agony Adventure on the Camino de Santiago

effusive arguments and tiring hand gestures. Others seemed simply bemused by the question, as though they had never considered anything different and their mother had just never bothered to wean them off those naps they took every day as a baby. Of course, when that led to questions about breast-feeding they became agitated and quickly changed the subject to something safer, like apple trees or the death of space travel.
    Do Spaniards lisp naturally or because they like sounding like the manager of a Miami flamenco club?
    For most it comes naturally, or at least is ingrained from an early age, usually dating back to the first time their parents taught them to spit when saying thank you. Finding yourself in a large crowd of Spanish people conversing you may mistakenly think that sound you hear is a giant in polyester pants walking around with his thighs rubbing together, but you are probably mistaken as more often than not it is simply hundreds of people pronouncing soft c’s in a completely illogical manner. In some rare cases, the lisp occurs as a physical affliction brought on by canker sore epidemics back in the 80’s when salted snacks were at the height of their popularity.
    Are all those eerily quiet towns really abandoned?
    Well, not according to the guidebook, or those perky little Welcome to _______ : Population 400 signs. But we rarely saw any proof of life ourselves. Just a lot of neat and tidy little towns with narrow streets, spotless little churches and utter silence. The occasional yellow Camino arrows were often as not the only sign that anything took place there other than afternoon napping and quietly peering out from behind drawn curtains.
    What is more important to Spanish men – football or tiny glasses of beer?
    Based solely on visual evidence in any given Spanish bar on a Sunday evening it would seem to be a toss-up. Clearly, what happens on the pitch is of utmost importance to your average Spaniard – a middle-aged man in a checked short-sleeved button-up shirt with a blossoming bald patch. In particular, nothing revs them up like a good controversial foul (or non-foul as the case may be). But they certainly do like their little glasses of beer, 4 or 5 ounces each, that go down quick and easy and provide plenty of opportunities to head back up to the bar, slap some backs jovially, maybe toss a derogatory comment or two in passing, and make a bit of small talk with the bartender about the most recent foul (or non-foul as the case may be) or how shitty the goalkeepers are looking, even if they have yet to actually concede anything, and of course pick up another tapas in the form of a stuffed mushroom or unappetizing chunk of raw fish. Then the clock strikes 10 pm and they burst out of the bar like rabbits on fire, scattering to the winds like, well, rabbits that are still on fire.
    Barcelona or Real Madrid?
    Arguably the two biggest football clubs in the world at the moment, this may be the one question you can ask in any bar, anywhere in the world, and be guaranteed to receive an opinion in return. However, contrary to popular belief, there are actually a number of football teams in Spain other than those two. A lot more, actually. Based all over the country. With long histories, avid supporters and - with the possible exception of cash-strapped Málaga - their very own uniforms. Most of the people I talked to on the Camino followed Athletic Bilbao in La Liga, that being the closest first division squad. At least up until reaching Galicia where we saw a steady shift in focus toward Deportivo la Coruña and local cattle racing.
    Having said all that, however, it seems that everyone in Spain also has a preference for one or the other of the big clubs. How could they not, considering how regularly those two teams represent the country against other European and international powerhouses with inspired demonstrations of classic Spanish skill, passing and crafty diving?
    Why is Xavi Alonso in classy ads for expensive men’s suits while Andres Iniesta signed on to promote Cornettos packaged ice cream cones?
    It can’t be football related, as both are key components of the two big clubs, and Iniesta was named 2012 FIFA World Player of the Year (to Cristiano Ronaldo’s classy disgust). So it must be because Xavi is a handsome, well-built dude who practically invented cool stubble, and Iniesta is tiny and balding with the face of the kid who plays the Bette Midler parts in school plays. On the