Big Easy Bonanza

up. You went to work for Mimi, so you could hit on Ramsay Erickson and cook up a yummy delicious Blackmail Pie for your boy friend Geo. Only Ramsay liked his gig as kept artist a lot more than you figured.”
    “You’re crazy!”
    “Oh, yeah! Don’t ya love it? See, you knew Geo was a trustifarian. And if the two of you could have held on for another year you would have been rich. But you got greedy and Geo got a hostile makeover. You didn’t hire Diva to find Geo, you hired me to find his body. Because unless Geo was officially dead, you wouldn’t officially be a widow. And you wouldn’t get a dime.”
    “What are you talking about?”
    Holding up the third item of interest, I went into incredibly annoying singsong mode. “Found ya marriage license,” I sang, like the worst bully on the playground. This was the most fun I’d had since Mardi Gras.
    “Give me that!”
    She reached for it, but I was ready for her. Grabbed her arm, spun her around, and pulled up on it, which had to hurt.
    But she only said, “Damn, you’re strong!” and kicked backwards at my knees.
    Hmmm. Maybe it didn’t hurt enough. I exerted a bit more pressure. Oh, yeah. Better. She screamed, but she still had fight in her.
    “Let me go!” she hollered and her other arm came up, the idea being to throw me off-balance with a little hair-pulling, I guess. But, darlin’, since you know Diva’s secret, you can guess what happened instead. Wendy ended up with yet another blonde wig, this one of exponentially better quality than any she owned.
    And there I was in nothing but my basic black burgling suit and a silly wig cap. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and burst out laughing.
    “Why, Mrs. Dupuy,” I said, using Don’s voice for the first time, “you seem to have snatched me bald-headed!”
    “You’re a guy!” she yelled. “You’re the guy who gave me the card.” Ah, yes. The card she brought to the Marigny Palace that fateful night.
    I filled her in while I applied a pair of simply
captivating
pink cuffs that I got from handcuffworld.com for a mere twenty-one dollars. Bopp was just going to love them.
    “Oh, you mean my partner, Don Devereaux,” I said, still in Don’s voice. “Yep. Don’s the name, Diva’s the game.”
    And then I switched back to Diva. “That’s right, my baby. Born Donald Devereaux in Terrebonne Parish, and magically morphed into the
fabulous
Diva Delish, New Orleans’ most famous mixologist and private…Well!
You
know. Gives new meaning to that tired old phrase, now doesn’t it?”
    She didn’t think it was funny.
    THE END

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