Birthright

Suzanne to her feet again.
    It was, Lana thought, like picking up a doll. She hooked an arm around Suzanne’s waist, and gazed at Doug as she led Suzanne out of the room. His face was blank.
    Jay waited until the door closed, stared at it a second longer before he turned to Callie. “But we haven’t, have we?” he said quietly. “You’re not Jessica.”
    “Mr. Cullen—”
    He set the glass down. His hand was shaking. He’d spill it in a minute if he didn’t put it down. But then his hands were empty. “It doesn’t matter what the tests say. The biology doesn’t matter. You know that—I can see it on your face. You’re not ours anymore. And when she finally understands that—”
    His voice broke, and she watched him gather the strength to finish. “When she finally comes to grips with it, it’s going to be like losing you all over again.”
    Callie lifted her hands. “What do you want me to say? What do you want me to do?”
    “I wish I knew. You, um, didn’t have to do this. Didn’t have to tell us. I want . . . I don’t know if it makes sense to you or not—but I need to say that I’m proud that you’re the kind of person who didn’t just turn away.”
    She felt something loosen inside her. “Thank you.”
    “Whatever else you decide to do, or not do, just don’t hurt her any more than you have to. I need some air.” He walked quickly to the door. “Doug,” he said without looking back. “Take care of your mother.”
    Callie dropped back in her chair, and because her head felt impossibly heavy, let it fall back. “Do you have something profound to say?” she asked Doug.
    He walked over, sat down, leaning forward with his hands dangling between his knees. His gaze was sharp on her face. “All my life, as long as I can remember, you’ve been the ghost in the house. Doesn’t matter which house, you were always there, just by not being there. Everyholiday, every event, even ordinary days, the shadow of you darkened the edges. There were times, plenty of times, I hated you for that.”
    “Pretty inconsiderate of me to get myself snatched that way.”
    “If it weren’t for you, everything would’ve been normal. My parents would still be together.”
    “Oh Christ.” She said it on a sigh.
    “If it weren’t for you, everything I did growing up wouldn’t have had that shadow at the edges. I wouldn’t have seen the panic in my mother’s eyes every time I was five minutes late getting home. I wouldn’t have heard her crying at night, or wandering around the house like she was looking for something that wasn’t there.”
    “I can’t fix that.”
    “No, you can’t fix it. I get the impression you had a pretty good childhood. Easy, normal, a little upscale, but not so fancy you got twisted around by it.”
    “And you didn’t.”
    “No, I didn’t have easy or normal. If I do a quick, two-dollar analysis, it’s probably what’s kept me from making a life, up until now. Still, maybe, I don’t know, but just maybe that’s why I’m going to be able to handle this better than any of the rest of you. Easier for me, I think, to deal with flesh and blood than it was with the ghost.”
    “Jessica’s still a ghost.”
    “Yeah, I get that. You wanted to push her away when she hugged you, but you didn’t. You didn’t push my mother away. Why?”
    “I don’t have any problem being a bitch, but I’m not a heartless bitch.”
    “Hey, nobody calls my sister a bitch. Except me. I loved you.” The words were out before he realized they were there. “Hell, I was only three, so it was probably the way I’d have loved a new puppy. I hope we can try to be friends.”
    She let out a shaky breath. Drawing another in, she studied him. His eyes were direct, she thought. And a deep brown. Mixed with the turmoil she saw in them was a kindness she hadn’t expected.
    “It’s not as hard to deal with having a brother as it is . . .” She shot a glance toward the door.
    “Don’t be too sure. I’ve got time to make up for. Such as, what’s with that Graystone character? You’re divorced, right, so why’s he hanging around?”
    She blinked. “Are you kidding?”
    “Yeah, but I might not be later.” He leaned a little closer. “Tell me about this son of a bitch Carlyle.”
    Callie opened her mouth, then shut it again as the door opened. “Later,” she murmured and rose again as Lana brought Suzanne back in.
    “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to fall apart that way.