Bite Me

remembered it faster than the ones turned from rat blood. It was consistent, until they all got loose and merged into a single cloud. After that, they all knew the maze, even if we had never put them in it.”
    Rivera bent down and pretended to be examining the maze. “What are you saying, Stephen?”
    “I think that they share a consciousness when they are together in mist form. What one knows, the others know. After they had merged, they all knew the maze.”
    Rivera looked at Cavuto and raised his eyebrows. “The Emperor thought that Tommy Flood was in the same cloud as the vampire cats.”
    “We’re fucked,” said Cavuto.
    Rivera looked at Foo for confirmation. “Are we fucked?”
    Foo shrugged, “Well, from what I could tell, Tommy wasn’t really that bright.”
    Rivera nodded. “Uh-huh, and if your girlfriend didn’t have a crush on him, would we be fucked?”
    Foo flinched a little, then recovered. “I think they’d be limited by the brain capacity of the species, so the vampire cats would be still be cats, but they’d be very smart. Chet, on the other hand—”
    “We’re fucked,” said Cavuto. “Say it.”
    “Scientifically speaking, yes,” said Jared, who stood in the doorway of the bedroom.
    “How do we stop them?” asked Rivera.
    “Sunlight. UV light will do it,” said Foo. “You have to find them while they’re dormant or they’ll just run away. They’re not invulnerable to physical damage. If they’re dismembered or decapitated it will kill them.”
    “You did experiments on that?” asked Cavuto.
    Foo shook his head. “We had some accidents when we were trying to get them back in their cages, but I’m basing that hypothesis on Abby’s description of the swordsman who showed up in the street.”
    “He sounds badass,” said Jared. “Did you find him?”
    Cavuto took Jared by a hair spike, steered him into the corner, faced him there, then turned back to Foo. “So, these jackets you made us, they’ll take them out?”
    “If you’re close enough. I’d say they’re lethal to about twelve feet. I suppose I can rig something higher intensity, like a high-capacity UV laser flashlight. You could cut them down from a distance with something like that.”
    “Light sabers!” said Jared, his voice going up. He hopped around in excitement, then winced at the pain in his ankles. “Ouch.”
    “That’s it,” said Cavuto. “You’re too much of a nerd tobe gay. I’m contacting the committee. They’ll revoke your rainbow flag and you will not be permitted anywhere near the parade.”
    “There’s a committee?”
    “No,” said Rivera. “He’s fucking with you.” Rivera turned back to Foo. “What about something that will work on a wider basis—like a vaccine or something?”
    Foo thought for a second. “Sure, what is it, Tuesday? I’m curing Ebola in the morning, but I can work on your vampire vaccine after lunch.”
    Rivera smiled. “People are dying, Steve. Lots of people. And the only people who have a chance to stop it are in this room.”
    “Not you,” Cavuto said to Jared.
    “Bitch,” Jared replied.
    “I’ll work on it,” said Foo. “But it’s not as bad as you think it is.”
    “Brighten our day, kid,” said Cavuto.
    “They can’t all handle it. Four out of every ten animals that are turned vampire don’t survive to the second night. They either just break down on the spot—sort of decay from the inside, or they go crazy—it’s like the heightened senses overwhelm them and they just have sort of a seizure that scrambles their brains and they end up with no survival instincts. They don’t feed or hide from the light. The first sunrise after they’re turned burns them up. It’s like accelerated evolution, taking out the weak the very first day.”
    “So you’re telling me what?”
    “The cat cloud won’t grow exponentially. And the only way it will pass to other species is if they bite their attacker during the attack and ingest vampire blood—that’s why you haven’t had any more human vampires.”
    “Then why no dog vampires?” asked Cavuto.
    “I’m guessing the cats tear them apart before they change,” said Foo. “I’m not a behavioral guy, but I’d guess there’s no brotherhood among vampires. If you’re a vampire cat, you’re essentially still a cat. If you’re a vampire dog, you’re still a dog.”
    “Except for Chet,” said Rivera. “Who is kind of a cat plus something else.”
    “Well, there are