Black Ribbon

fishy, ill-fitting, or second-rate about them. Anyway, HIT doesn’t require a 200. Empirical observation indicates that what it really requires is a golden retriever or possibly a Border collie or a sheltie, at any rate, not a first-time-in-the-ring Akita with a rank-novice Novice A handler who needed all the encouragement he could get, including my dumb effort at a joke about going High in Trial, and who did not need, I should add, the kibitzing of Eva Spitteler. Insinuating herself into our group, she interrupted me: “And after you go High in Trial, don’t go and offer the judge a ride home, either!”
    In case you haven’t been preparing to write a column on the AKC regulations and guidelines pertaining to judges, let me explain that Eva was and wasn’t correct. The guidelines for dog show judges—conformation judges, people like Eric Grimaldi—explicitly forbid judges to “travel to or from shows or stay with anyone who is likely to be exhibiting or handling under them.” Obedience judges are just advised to be “particularly judicious in the manner in which they conduct themselves in the world of dogs,” in other words—how the AKC loves to hammer in a point!—as befits judges, they are supposed to conduct themselves... well, judiciously. Lest it be thought that in issuing specific vehicular and social guidelines solely to conformation judges, the AKC adopts a who-gives-a-damn attitude toward their obedience counterparts, let me quote from the regs for obedience judges: “A judge who has a shadow of doubt cast upon any of his decisions has caused his integrity, as well as the integrity of The American Kennel Club and of the Sport, to be compromised.” The AKC always talks like Cecil B. DeMille handing down the Commandments to Charlton Heston. And, indeed, in the Sport, in The Fancy itself—the voice of the AKC really is the voice of God. So, while those poor rigidly regulated breed judges are, if necessary, trudging from show to show on foot to avoid creating the slightest impression of personal bias, are the wildly overindulged obedience judges encouraged merrily to hitch rides to and fro all over the place with their exhibitors? Don’t ask me; ask the AKC. I’ve quoted the guidelines. Your conclusion? Mine, for what it’s worth, is that the AKC takes an inexplicably authoritarian approach to disciplining breed judges, but when it comes to obedience judges, suddenly goes all permissive and guilt-tripping. “A shadow of a doubt... the integrity of The American Kennel Club.” A breed judge riding in an exhibitor’s car? Forbidden. But when it comes to obedience judges, the vehicle that the AKC has in mind, I guess, is an old Chevrolet, and specifically, the back seat of an old Chevrolet: Use your own judgment, dear. Mommy and Daddy trust you completely.
     

 
    DOGWORLD, Doberman World, Whippet World, Golden Retriever World, Dog Fancy, Dog's Life, Dog News, The Canine Chronicle, Front and Finish, Off-Lead, Gun Dog, Northwest K-9 Connection, Northeast Canine Companion, New England Obedience News, Groomer to Groomer, Good Dog, Bloodlines, Pure-bred Dogs/American Kennel Gazette, Dogs in Canada, The Borzoi Quarterly, The Boston Quarterly, The Bull Terrier Quarterly, not forgetting, of course, The Malamute Quarterly, The English Cocker Quarterly, The Gordon Quarterly— Gordon setters—or The Rhodesian Ridgeback Quarterly, The Labrador Quarterly, The Irish Wolfhound Quarterly, The Corgi Quarterly, The Corgi Cryer, The American Airedale, The Courier —Portuguese Water Dogs—and not omitting Northland Shepherd News, German Shepherd Dog Review, The Shepherd's Dogge, Chinook World, Beagle Tails, or... well, I could go on and on, and will proceed to do so: Ilio and Popoki: Hawaii’s Dogs and Cats, The Rottweiler Quarterly, The Shar-Pei Magazine, The French Bully-tin, NewfTide, plus, of course, Working Sheepdog News, American Border Collie News, The Northeastern Sheepdog Newsletter, Dog Sports Magazine, The Guardian, The Barker, and The Newsletter of the Society for the Perpetuation of Desert-Bred Salukis. That'll Do! Meaning I’m done? On the contrary, meaning That'll Do: A Journal for the Canadian Stock Dog Handler. And will that do? You’re kidding. Why, I haven’t even mentioned Cornell’s dog-health letter, and I’ve skipped over most of the breed quarterlies, and I haven’t had a chance to mention dozens and dozens of wonderful all-breed, single-breed, national, regional, and local,