Blood on My Hands

and the motive.
    The opportunity was at the kegger. The means was the knife. The mo—
    And that’s when it hits me. The knife! It had that square red logo with the white stick figures. The same logo I saw that day in Dakota’s kitchen! I can’t believe it took me this long to put it together! That will prove Dakota did it!
    After the weekend at Zelda’s, the fun continued for the final two weeks of the summer. Wherever the IC went and whatever they did, I was included. Not all the girls were there. Zelda stayed at the beach and Dakota was still away with her family. But that left Katherine, Brianna—who in Dakota’s absence had become Katherine’s constant companion—Jodie, and me.
    Sometimes it was a little awkward, like when they went clothes shopping and I couldn’t afford much for myself. Meanwhile, as the day Slade was due to finish Guard training and come home approached, I began to watch the local news and check the paper. Then I read this one morning in the Fairchester Press:
    FAIRCHESTER—COUNTY OFFICIALS ANNOUNCED TODAY THAT FAIRCHESTER’S EIGHTY NATIONAL GUARD MEMBERS WILL BE DEPLOYED TO AFGHANISTAN IN LATE SEPTEMBER.
County Administrator Kevin Parsons is hoping residents will give them a patriotic send-off. The Guard members will serve as support for US Army troops.
“We’re asking folks to let these men and women know how much they are appreciated,” Parsons said, then added that he has asked local municipalities to fly extra American flags and put up other patriotic decorations.
Parsons, who himself is a member of a National Guard Special Forces group, said he hoped local residents would also display flags and other symbols of support. “Anyone who puts himself in harm’s way for our national security deserves all the appreciation we can muster.”
    I felt my heart sink. Slade’s worst fear had come true.
    Slade was scheduled to come home the day before school started. I assumed that the men in his unit would be allowed a few weeks after training to see their families and make arrangements before their deployment. As the day of his arrival grew nearer, I became miserable and anxious and scared. Part of me yearned to see him, and part of me was terrified of what might happen if I did.
    The easiest thing to do was avoid the whole issue. There were always parties on the night before school began. I joined Katherine, Brianna, Jodie, and Zelda, who volunteered to be our designated driver, because she was taking an antibiotic for an ear infection and wasn’t allowed to drink.
    Nobody said a word about Dakota. I knew she must have gotten home from her family vacation, but I didn’t ask why she wasn’t with us.
    There was lots of drinking and catching up with friends we hadn’t seen over the summer. By our third stop, things began to get a little fuzzy for me. I remember getting out of the car and stumbling slightly over the curb. Katherine caught my arm to steady me and we laughed at my klutziness. The next thing I knew, we were holding hands and walking across the lawn toward the next party.
    “Wasn’t Slade supposed to come home today?” she asked.
    “Yes,” I answered, surprised she knew that.
    “Have you seen him?”
    I shook my head.
    “Do you want to?”
    I shrugged. “It’s probably better if I don’t. He’s going overseas in a few weeks.”
    “So you’re not sorry you broke up with him?”
    In my heart I knew I was very sorry. In my head I wasn’t sure. But what good would it do to tell Katherine that? In her opinion I’d done the right thing by breaking up with him. “No,” I said. “You were right.”
    Katherine squeezed my hand and then let go.
    As it got late, people began to settle down. By then we were at the home of Alex Craft, the impossibly cute star of many PACE productions, playing flip cup and drinking. Then someone suggested we play suck and blow. We all sat in a circle, boy-girl-boy-girl, and started to pass a card around with our lips. You’re not allowed to touch the card with your hands, and the way you keep it on your lips is by sucking in air behind it. Then you turn to the person next to you and they press their lips to the other side of the card and you blow while they suck, and the card stays with them. You’re out of the game if you drop the card before you give it to the next person. And if it falls while you’re getting it from or giving it to someone, you usually wind up kissing them.
    I was sitting with Alex on my right and Seth