Blood on My Hands

lounge. Or at least, it will be the new lounge once it’s finished. Right now, the floor is still bare concrete. New rolls of carpet rest against a wall. In one corner couches covered with plastic sheets are positioned around a large flat-screen TV. In another corner is the ancient pool table from the old EMS building. Along the wall are cabinets and a sink, a stove, and a refrigerator, all with their new-appliance labels and warnings still attached.
    I open one of the cabinet doors under the sink. The space will work. I turn and put my arms around Slade. “I wish we could just stay like this forever,” I whisper, craning my neck up and feeling his lips against mine, his scratchy stubble against my face. “Stay with me?”
    He hesitates, then says, “Wish I could, but I’ve got to get home and clean up for the ceremony.” He gives me one last hug, then leans back and looks into the empty cabinet. “You sure this is what you want to do?”
    “No, but I don’t know what else to do.”
    Lunch was almost over and Mia and I took our trays to the kitchen. Turning back, we found Kirsten coming toward us, no doubt with a message from Katherine.
    “Can I talk to you?” she said to Mia.
    Mia’s eyes darted toward the table where Katherine was sitting, then back to Kirsten. “Okay.”
    I watched the two girls walk off together and stand by the window. Kirsten crossed her arms and spoke. Mia’s mouth fell open. Then, for a moment, it looked as if she would burst into tears. But her lips closed, her jaw became firm, her eyes narrowed, and she began to march toward Katherine’s table.
    At the table, Katherine had been leaning forward in conversation, but I knew she must have had one eye on what was happening between Kirsten and Mia. Now, with Mia storming toward her, Katherine sat up straight, and for the first time that I could remember, her face went pale.
    Not certain exactly what Mia intended to do, I began to hurry toward the table. Mia, her red face filled with fury, stopped and hovered over Katherine, who was doing her best to stare straight back. Maybe it was only my imagination, but I would have sworn that inside, Katherine was quaking with fear.
    “How dare you!” Mia shouted. At the shrill sound of her voice, the closer half of the cafeteria went silent. Heads turned and kids rose from their seats to see what was going on as Mia went off on a tirade. “It wasn’t enough that you had to shut me out of your table, but you had to send one of your little robots over to make sure I knew the reason. Well, let me tell you something, Miss Prim-Proper Phony, you are going to get yours. Believe me. When I’m done with you, you’ll wish you’d … you’d never been adopted!”
    Katherine went white. Mia turned and marched out of the cafeteria. Behind her some kids began to cheer and whistle. It was impossible to tell whether they were expressing their personal feelings about Katherine or just voicing their approval of the entertaining nature of Mia’s outburst.
    I followed Mia into the hall and down to the girls’ room. By the time I got there, she’d locked herself in a stall and I could hear her gasping for breath and sobbing. “You okay?” I asked.
    “Yeah, I’m just … I think I kind of freaked myself out.…”
    “You were fabulous!” I said, hoping to make her feel better. “I mean, no one’s ever done that to her before … and in front of everyone!”
    “Yeah … I just … I don’t know … lost it. She is such an evil piece of slime.”
    “Well, she deserved it,” I said. “So … I think I know what Kirsten said.”
    In the stall, Mia blew her nose. “How?”
    “Because Katherine wanted me to tell you and I refused.”
    “Why?”
    “Because it isn’t true. And because I didn’t want to hurt your feelings, and because I knew it would never end. Even if I did what she wanted, she’d just come up with something worse next time.”
    “God, I hate her,” Mia muttered on the other side of the stall door. “I just so hate her.”
    “I’m not sure she’s worth hating,” I said.
    I heard a rustling sound; then the stall door opened and Mia came out. Her eyes were red and her face was splotchy. She went to the mirror and started to fix her makeup. “You’re sure I’m not a fat pig?”
    I winced at the thought of Kirsten delivering that news back in the cafeteria. What a horrible thing to do.
    “Not even close.”
    Mia looked at me in the mirror. “You mean