Boys Life

ago, before any of us were even bora. So these Nazis got out into the woods right near here, and their leader-his name was Bruno-was a big guy with a scarred-up, burned face and he found a cave for everybody to live in. But there wasn’t enough food for everybody, and so when some of them died the others cut up the bodies with knives and-”
    “Oh, gross!” Ben said.
    “And ate ’em, and Bruno always got the brains. He cracked open their skulls like walnuts, scooped out the brains with both hands, and threw ’em down his gullet.”
    “I’m gonna puke!” Davy Ray cried out, and made retching noises. Then he laughed and Ben laughed, too.
    “After a long time-like two years-Bruno was the only one left, and he was bigger’n ever,” I continued. “But his face never healed up from the fire. He had one eye on his forehead and the other eye hung down on his chin.” This brought more gusts of laughter. “So after all that time in the cave, and eatin’ the other Nazis up, Bruno was crazy. He was hungry, but he only wanted one thing to eat: brains.”
    “Yech!” Ben said.
    “Brains was all he wanted,” I told my audience of two. “He was seven feet tall and he weighed three hundred pounds, and he had a long knife that could slice the top of your head right off. Well, the police and the army were lookin’ for him all this time but they never could find him. They found a forest ranger with the top of his head cut off and his brains gone. They found an old moonshiner dead and his brains gone, too, and they figured Bruno was gettin’ closer and closer to Zephyr.”
    “Then they called in James Bond and Batman!” Davy Ray said.
    “No!” I shook my head gravely. “There wasn’t anybody to call in. There was just the policemen and the army soldiers, and every night Bruno walked through the forest carryin’ his knife and a lantern, and his face was so ugly it could freeze people solid like Medusa and then slash! he cut somebody’s head open and splatter! there were the brains down his throat.”
    “Oh, sure!” Ben grinned. “I’ll bet ol’ Bruno’s still in these woods right now, eatin’ people’s brains for supper, huh?”
    “Nope,” I said, formulating the conclusion of my tale. “The police and the soldiers found him, and they shot him so many times he looked like Swiss cheese. But every so often, if you happen to be out in the woods on a real dark night, you can see Bruno’s lantern movin’ through the trees.” I spoke this in an icy whisper, and neither Davy Ray nor Ben did any more laughing. “Yeah, you can see his lantern movin’ as he wanders in search of somebody’s brains to eat. He casts that light all around, and if you get close to it, you can see the shine of his knife, but don’t look at his face!” I held up a warning finger. “No, don’t you look at his face, ’cause it’ll drive you crazy and it might just make you want to eat some brains!” I yelled the last word and jumped as I yelled it, and Ben hollered with fright but Davy Ray just laughed again.
    “Hey, that’s not funny!” Ben protested.
    “You don’t have to worry about ol’ Bruno,” Davy Ray told him. “You don’t have any brains, so that lets you off the-”
    Davy Ray stopped speaking, and he just sat there staring into the dark.
    “What is it?” I asked him.
    “Ahhhh, he’s tryin’ to scare us!” Ben scoffed. “Well, it ain’t workin’!”
    Davy Ray’s face had gone white. I swear I saw his scalp ripple, and the hair stand up. He said, “Guh… guh… guh…” and he lifted his arm and pointed.
    I turned around to look in the direction he indicated. I heard Ben make a choked gasp. My own hair jittered on my head, and my heart kaboomed.
    A light was coming toward us, through the trees.
    “Guh… guh… God a’mighty!” Davy Ray croaked.
    We all three were struck with the kind of horror that makes you want to dig a hole, jump in, and pull the hole in after you. The light was moving slowly, but coming closer. And as it came closer it broke into two, and all of us got down on our quaking bellies in the pine straw. In another moment I could tell what it was: a car’s headlights. The car looked like it was going to roll right over our hiding-place, and then it veered away and we watched its red taillights flare as the driver applied the brakes. The car kept going, following a winding trail that was only fifty yards or so from our campsite, and in a couple of minutes it had