Brave New Worlds

and falls apart when cuts a slice to go. The whole time Jamin smiles at me and refuses to meet my eyes. Finally he's gone, and Hodge and I sit back to our meal. Sometime during this the music has fallen silent and Hodge is too distracted to reset it.
    "How long have you known Jamin?" he says after a sip of wine.
    "All my life," I say. "We grew up in the same Children's Center, and then attended the same. "
    "He's well-meaning, but what a beastly thing to do. "
    I think he means it as a joke, but I'm not sure so I stare at my plate and concentrate on eating, making extravagant praise of the food between the clinks of silverware on porcelain.
    "So," Hodge says after another drink of wine. "You're the marrying kind?"
    "Yes. " My heart trips and stumbles. "Yes, I am. "
    "It won't be bad. Will this coming ceremony be your first time?"
    "Yes. I mean, I haven't decided yet. "
    "You'll be nervous your first time. It won't be bad. "
    I choke out laughter. "Aren't you supposed to tell me how good it will be?"
    He winces. Folding his napkin, he leans his elbows on the table and looks directly at me. "Look, Jamin thinks that we're both the same type. I just lost my partner—"
    "Oh, I'm sorry," I say.
    He holds up his hand. "No, it's all right. We'd been together for ten years or so, but he'd been unhappy for a very long time. I'm glad he ran off. "
    "Where he'd go to?" I ask, desperate to change the subject.
    Hodge shook his head. "Look, that's not important. I'm happy by myself right now. I hope you understand. "
    He didn't sound happy at all. "Of course! I mean I—"
    "I'm not like you," he said in a low whisper, and then drank the rest of his wine. "Oh! the story about the man with the dog, did I ever finish that?"
    "No. " I had forgotten it already.
    "The last time they caught him, they stoned him to death and set his body on fire. That kind of perversion can't be tolerated, you know. We aren't animals, with animal passions. "
    "I know that. " My voice is strained because I am scared.
    "Well, then. Good. " He rises abruptly. "I'll call you a taxi. " He fumbles at the counter, frowning. "The cake is a disappointment, but I'll send some with you. "
    When the taxi arrives and I step off the stoop into darkness, I hear him say, "Good luck with the marrying. It's over quickly. "
    He reminds me of a piece of topiary, a plant forced by wires and pruning into a facsimile of something else, so twisted over time that he no longer resembles himself. I can feel myself being twisted, misshapen more each day. But I'll resist it.
    The taxi door slams and whisks me away.

    I don't see Ali at work the next day or the following morning. At lunch, I am standing by the inner windows overlooking the courtyard below while the children. The weave an endless pattern of joy amid the trees and joys, untroubled by impossible choices. Pressed to the window, I am only slightly aware of someone next to me. The lobby is busy, many people rushing by. So several minutes pass before I look up and realize that it is Ali beside me.
    She taps her foot on the tiles. "Rubber floor. Very smart. They aren't able to zap you here. "
    "I'm sorry," I blurt out, sorry that I haven't noticed her, sorry that I hadn't talked to her earlier.
    Ali lowers her long eyelashes and looks away. "Well, if you want to be zapped, you could always go back to your desk. "
    "Wait!"
    She pauses in midstep. "I'm waiting. "
    And because I don't know what else to say, because there is only one thing besides her on my mind, I ask, "Will you be marrying this weekend?"
    "That's a very improper thing for you to ask," she says and walks quickly away to the other side of the lobby where she stands by a tub of polished stones and bubbling water, watching the children below.
    I want to run after her, take her by the elbow and make her understand. I want her to feel for me the way I feel toward her. I want her to peel off her gloves and sink her bare hands into my flesh, stripping it away to the bone, until she reaches my heart and can soothe away the ache I feel for her.
    Instead, I also turn and look out the window again. From this height, I can't tell if the children below are boys or girls.

    Heart Nouveau is even more crowded than normal tonight because of the Bachelors Party. Jamin and Zel have brought me here to celebrate, just as all the other normal men have brought their friends who will be marrying tomorrow. Smoke swirls across the bar and dance floor, eddying with the currents of moving