Brother Cadfael 11: An Excellent Mystery

have, and well,' said Humilis. 'The better for having Fidelis by me. I have not deserved such privilege, but I am meek enough to entreat for it to be continued. Will you speak with Father Abbot for me?'
    'I would, if there was need,' said Cadfael heartily, 'but he already knows and approves.'
    'Then if I'm to have my indulgence,' said Humilis, 'speak for me now to this nurse and confessor and tyrant of mine, that he use a little kindness also to himself. At least he should go now to Mass, since I cannot, and take a turn in the garden for a little while, before he shuts himself here again with me.'
    Fidelis heard all this smiling, but with a smile of inexpressible sadness. The boy, thought Cadfael, knows all too well the time cannot be long, and numbers every moment, charging it with meaning. Love in ignorance squanders what love, informed, crowds and overfills with tokens of eternity.
    'He says rightly,' said Cadfael. 'You go to Mass, and I'll stay here until you come again. No need to hurry, I fancy you'll find Brother Rhun waiting for you.'
    Fidelis accepted what he recognised as his purposeful dismissal, and went out silently, leaving them no less silent until his slight shadow had passed from the threshold of the room and out into the open court.
    Humilis lay back in his raised pillows, and drew a great breath that should have floated his diminished body into the air, like thistledown.
    'Will Rhun truly be looking for him?'
    'He surely will,' said Cadfael.
    'That's well! Of such a one he has need. An innocent, of such native power! Oh, Cadfael, for the simplicity and the wisdom of the dove! I wish Fidelis were such a one, but he is the other, the complement, the inward one. I had to send him away, I must talk with you. Cadfael, I am troubled in my mind for Fidelis.'
    It was not news. Cadfael honestly nodded, and said nothing.
    'Cadfael,' said the patient voice, delivered from stress now that they were alone. 'I've grown to know you a little, in this time you have been tending me. You know as well as I that I am dying. Why should I grieve for that? I owe a death that has been all but claimed of me a hundred times already. It is not for myself I'm troubled, it is for Fidelis. I dread leaving him alone here, trapped in this life without me.'
    'He will not be alone,' said Cadfael. 'He is a brother of this house. He will have the service and fellowship of all here,' The sharp, wry smile did not surprise him. 'And mine,' he said, 'if that means anything more to you. Rhun's, certainly. You have said yourself that Rhun's loyalty is not to be despised.'
    'No, truly. The saints of simplicity are made of his metal. But you are not simple, Brother Cadfael. You are sometimes of frightening subtlety, and that also has its place. Moreover, I believe you understand me. You understand the nature of the need. Will you take care of Fidelis for me, stand his friend, believe in him, be shield and sword to him if need be, after I am gone?'
    'To the best of my power,' said Cadfael, 'yes, I will.' He leaned to wipe away a slow trickle of spittle from the corner of a mouth wearied with speaking and slack at the lip, and Humilis sighed, and let him serve, docile under the brief touch. 'You know,' said Cadfael gently, 'what I only guess at. If I have guessed right, there is here a problem beyond my wit or yours to solve. I promise my endeavour. The ending is not mine, it belongs only to God. But what I can do, I will do.'
    'I would happily die,' said Humilis, 'if my death can serve and save Fidelis. But what I dread is that my death, which cannot delay long, may only aggravate his trouble and his suffering. Could I take them with me into the judgement, how gladly would I embrace them and go. God forbid he should ever be brought to shame and punishment for what he has done.'
    'If God forbids, man cannot touch him,' said Cadfael. 'I see what needs to be done, but how to achieve it, God knows, I cannot see. Well, God's vision is clearer than mine, he may both see a way out of this tangle and open my eyes to it when the time is ripe. There's a path through every forest, and a safe passage somewhere through every marsh, it needs only the finding.'
    A faint grey smile passed slowly over the sick man's face, and left him grave again. 'I am the marsh out of which Fidelis must find safe passage. I should have Englished that name of mine, it would have been more fitting, with more than half my blood Saxon - Godfrid of the Marsh for Godfrid de