Carnal Innocence

to.”
    He shook his head as she reached for his hand, and stood to move away. “She was my sister.” His voice was strained, and as he continued to study the water, Caroline saw how tired he looked. She wondered if she’d ever see that carefree grin again, and hoped.
    “She was ill, Tucker.”
    “I’m trying to see that. The same as if she’d had cancer. I loved her, Caroline. I love her now, too. And it’s hard, remembering her, and how full of life and spit she was. It’s hard, remembering all those graves she’s responsible for. But it’s hardest, closing my eyes and seeing you running out of that room, and Josie just behind you, with a knife in her hand.”
    “I can’t tell you it’ll go away, not for either of us. But I’ve learned not to look back.”
    He bent down for a pebble and tossed it into the water. “I wasn’t sure you’d want to see me.”
    “You should have been.” She rose, as agitated as the pup who ran in circles with a twig in his mouth. “You started this between us, Tucker. You wouldn’t let it alone. You wouldn’t listen when I said I didn’t want to be involved.”
    He threw another stone. “I guess that’s true. I’ve been wondering if it wouldn’t be best if I just let you go on your way, pick up where you were before I got messed up in your life.”
    She watched the pebble plop and shoot out its spreading ripples. Sometimes you accomplished more bystirring things up, she decided, than by letting them run smooth.
    “Oh, that’s fine. That’s just like you, isn’t it? Head for the door when things get complicated with a woman.” She grabbed his arm and shoved him around to face her. “Well, I’m not like the others.”
    “I didn’t mean—”
    “I’ll tell you what you mean,” she tossed back, giving him a hard thump on the chest that had his mouth falling open in surprise. “It’s been nice, Caro. See you around.’ Well, forget it. You’re not going to stroll in and change my life, then walk away, whistling. I’m in love with you, and I want to know what you’re going to do about it.”
    “It’s not that I—” He broke off. His eyes closed, as if on a pain, then he laid his hands on her shoulders, rested his brow against hers. “Oh, God, Caro.”
    “I want you to—”
    “Shh. Just hush a minute. I need to hold you.” He drew her closer, his grip tightening until she felt his muscles tremble. “I’ve needed to hold you so much these past few days. I was afraid you’d back away.”
    “You were wrong.”
    “I was going to try and be noble and let you go.” He buried his face in her hair. “I’m not much good at being noble.”
    “Thank God for that.” Smiling, she tilted her head back. “You haven’t answered me.”
    “I was thinking more of kissing you.”
    “Nope.” She put a hand on his chest to hold him off. “I want an answer. I said I loved you, and I want to know what you’re going to do about it.”
    “Well …” His hands slid away from her. He found the best thing to do with them was to jam them in his pockets. “I had it pretty well worked out before— before everything happened.”
    She shook her head. “There is no before. Try now.”
    “I guess I was thinking about you going on this next tour. You do want to go?”
    “I want to go on this one. For myself.”
    “Yeah. I was thinking. It occurred to me that you might not object to company.”
    Her lips curved slowly. “I might not.”
    “I’d like to go with you, when I could. I can’t leave for weeks at a time, with Cy to look after, and Sweetwater—especially since Dwayne’s going to be up in that clinic for a while—but now and then.”
    “Here and there?”
    “There you go. And I was thinking that when you weren’t touring or playing somewhere, that you’d come back here and be with me.”
    She pursed her lips in consideration. “Define ‘be with.’”
    He let out a deep, shaky breath. It was hard to get it out, he discovered, when he’d spent most of his life being careful to hold it in. “I want you to marry me, have a family with me. Here. I guess I want that more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life.”
    “You’re looking a little pale, Tucker.”
    “I guess that goes with being scared to death. And that’s a hell of a thing to say after a man’s just proposed marriage to you.”
    “You’re right. You’re entitled to a simple yes or no.”
    “Hold on. There’s nothing simple about it.” Terrified, he grabbed