Catweazle and the Magic Zodiac

’
    ‘Urn-shaped,’
said Lady Collingford.
    ‘With
handles,’ added Lord Collingford.
    ‘With
handles,’ said Pugh wearily. ‘Go on.’
    ‘Two
National Championship first prizes and four
    County
Team awards next to them,’ Lord Collingford went on.
    ‘Just a
minute, my lord. I am sorry to reveal my ignorance, but what were these cups
for?’
    ‘They
were all for croquet, of course,’ said Lord Collingford indignantly.
    Pugh
put his hands together and looked down for a moment. He appeared to be praying.
Then he looked up at Mrs Gowdie. ‘Now, Mrs Gowdie,’ he said, ‘you discovered
the theft, I believe?’
    ‘That’s
right, Inspector,’ she said.
    ‘Did
anyone call at the house yesterday that you didn’t know? Apart from visitors to
the collection, of course.’ ‘Only an old tramp.’
    ‘An old
tramp!’ said Cedric.
    ‘Go on,
Mrs Gowdie,’ said Pugh, glowering at the boy. ‘He wanted a drink of water,’
said Mrs Gowdie. ‘He was very ragged and dirty.’
    ‘Did
you let him in?’
    ‘Only
into the kitchen,’ said Mrs Gowdie. ‘I felt sorry for him, you see. He seemed
so... lost.’
    Cedric
couldn’t bear to listen to any more. He was determined to make Catweazle give
back the stuff he’d taken. ‘Excuse me,’ he said, quickly leaving the room. Pugh
resumed his questioning. ‘Did he cry?’ he asked. Mrs Gowdie looked surprised.
‘Well, yes Inspector, he did cry. How did you know?’
    ‘
“Tearful Ted”!’ said Pugh snapping his fingers.
    ‘I beg
your pardon?’ said Lord Collingford.
    ‘
“Tearful Ted” alias Sid Thompson, alias Ernest Brown. One of the cleverest
thieves in the country,’ said Inspector Pugh. ‘He always works in disguise.
Tramps, milkmen, even policemen. I think I’ll go for a tour around the area.
You never know, I might just be lucky.’ As the Inspector drove away from Kings
Farthing in
    search
of clues, Tearful Ted pushed his way into Duclj Halt. He carried a small sack over
his shoulder.
    ‘Avaunt!’
cried Catweazle, and prepared to launch into a terrible curse.
    Ted
backed to the door in surprise.
    ‘Hence!
’Tis my castle!’ said Catweazle.
    ‘D’you
live here?’ asked Ted.
    ‘Begone
ere I blast thee!’
    ‘Steady
on, mate. How was I to know this was your gaff? I was lookin’ for somewhere to
kip.’
    ‘Gaff?
Kip?’ repeated Catweazle.
    Ted
decided to play for a little sympathy. ‘I’m all alone in the world, you see.’
He gave a little sob. ‘I got nobody. No mates — nothing.’
    Catweazle
looked at him with amazement as Ted managed to squeeze a single tear out of his
sharp little brown eyes. ‘It’s so hard when there’s no one understands you,’ he
groaned. ‘No one to help you when you’re down and out.’ He began to weep
bitterly.
    ‘Thou
blubbering blow-fly, thou wilt turn the milk!’ said Catweazle, and Ted,
realizing that his act wasn’t working, stopped crying.
    ‘What
hast thou there?’ asked the magician, pointing at the sack.
    ‘Er...
all I’ve got in the world, brother,’ said Ted hastily.
    ‘Brother!’
said Catweazle, thinking Ted was a fellow sorcerer. ‘Art thou my brother? Dost
follow the mysteries?’ and he crooked his forefingers each side of his head in
the ancient greeting of magical brotherhood.
    Ted was
sure that the old hermit was crazy. Slowly he raised his fingers to his head in
the same gesture. ‘Yeah, sure... been at it for years,’ he said.
    ‘I
also,’ said Catweazle proudly. ‘Nine hundred years.’ ‘Get away,’ said Ted,
humouring him, ‘you don’t look a day over sixty-five.’
    ‘Thou
hast magic in there?’
    Ted
grasped the sack firmly. ‘That’s right... er... brother.’
    ‘Wilt
thou show me?’
    ‘No. I
don’t think I’d better.’
    ‘Ah!
There are demons!’
    ‘I’ll
say,’ said Ted, catching on fast, ‘any amount in that sack. Little purple ones.
Very nasty.’
    Suddenly
Catweazle’s thumbs began to prick rather violently. ‘Someone comes,’ he
whispered. Ted looked swiftly through a crack in one of the boarded up windows.
Inspector Pugh was coming cautiously towards Duck Halt looking all around him.
    ‘You’re
right,’ said Ted, ‘I’m off.’
    ‘What
of thy magic?’ said Catweazle pointing at the sack.
    ‘Hide
it,’ said Ted. ‘I’ll be back, late tonight. Don’t open it, will you?’
    ‘Nay,’
said Catweazle firmly. ‘I fear the purple demons.’
    ‘Good,
said Ted.
    He
slunk off as Pugh neared the derelict station. Cedric