Change of Heart

cared at all, there had always been Crane. I owed him so much, because after he saved my life, he had needed to keep me sane and not wallowing in grief. If I had killed myself, that would have made them victorious over me, he said, and we couldn't have that.
    "Crane," I said softly, the lump in my throat making it hard to breathe.
    "Forget it," he grunted. "What I don't get is why in the hell you showed that guy your fangs in the first place."
    "I didn't mean to," I exhaled sharply, calming, regaining my normal composure. "I screwed up because I'm tired, and I'm tired because I'm working too hard, and I'm working too hard for what? I'm just gonna end up leaving here anyway...
    shit!"
    "You're an idiot," he passed judgment on me.
    "Yeah, I know."
    "What the hell were you thinking?"
    I was so angry I could barely think straight. How in the world had I made such a stupid, idiotic mistake like showing my teeth to Yuri Kosa? He had done it first, and I had even thought it was brainless. Then I had gone and done the exact same thing!
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    Change of Heart
    by Mary Calmes
    "Lemme see."
    I squinted at him. "What?"
    "Your fangs, lemme see... your hands too."
    "Why?"
    "Because it's been a long time since...just lemme see."
    I was going to do whatever I could to restore things between us to normal. He was my touchstone, and I need him, so I parted my lips and showed him my fangs, upper and lower, before lifting my hand so he could see the claws where my fingers should have been. I had a middle form, the part-man, part-animal werepanther form that he did not. We said
    "werepanther" or "shape shifter" to describe ourselves and the change, but only a semel or a reah had the horror-movie form that was both in one. There could never be a mistake about what I was.
    "Shit."
    "What?" I asked, returning instantly to my fully human form.
    "That's amazing, you know. Just seeing you do it is really something."
    We were silent for several minutes.
    "Do you regret leaving with me?"
    "No, Jin," he said quickly, matter-of-fact.
    "You don't miss your family?"
    "They called for your blood just like everyone else. I had no idea that they would turn on you like that or me. I don't miss anyone, but I would have missed you, my friend."
    He blurred, and I realized that I was really much more tired than I realized.
    45
    Change of Heart
    by Mary Calmes
    "Oh, don't cry for fuck's sake," he grumbled at me. "Ya big girl."
    I smiled through my tears.
    "A male reah," he smiled back at me. "How the fuck did that happen?"
    "Your guess is as good as mine."
    He took a breath. "Okay, so seriously, whaddya wanna do now?"
    "Now I gotta get outta town."
    "Why?"
    "'Cause Yuri Kosa is a sheseru and he knows I'm a reah.
    Logan Church is gonna want to see me as soon as he finds out."
    "Why?"
    "You know why. To see if I'm his reah."
    "Maybe he's not gay."
    "It doesn't matter."
    "Really?" He nodded "'Cause it would matter to me. I don't care how hot the guy is, I ain't fuckin' him."
    "You're not a semel. You have no idea, the pull on your body and your mind. There's no way you could ever understand."
    "Okay, so why don't we just tell Logan Church or any other semel that wants to meet you that you've already got a mate."
    "I did. I told Yuri Kosa you were my mate. I told him you were my semel."
    He gave a snort of laughter. "Good job, idiot."
    "It's all I could think of."
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    Change of Heart
    by Mary Calmes
    "And when they check us out and ask Andrian where we came from... it's all gonna get out about us belonging to Christophe's tribe, and then we're really screwed."
    "This is why we gotta go."
    "Shit, Jin, why didn't you just say that you were mated to someone else? What's wrong with just lying so we could stay here?"
    "Because any semel would know I was lying."
    "See, I've never understood that. How do they know?"
    "They just do."
    "But how? That makes no sense. How would Logan Church know that you don't have a mate?"
    "He just will."
    "That's crap; tell me how he'll know you don't have a mate."
    "The way I smell, the mark the—"
    "The mark," he was frowning at me.
    "Yeah. It's...." I took a breath. "See, when a semel and reah mate, which they do for life—"
    "Cats don't mate for life," he said smugly. "They can choose each other just like everybody else, but they don't mate for life."
    "Semels and reahs do."
    He gave me a look.
    "They do, I swear."
    "They do?"
    "Yeah, they're the only ones that do, but it's more than just taking a mate and speaking the vows. It's