Change of Heart

him, but there was a hand on my bicep. When I turned my head, one of the men with Christophe was smiling at me.
    "So a reah makes you feel like this?"
    "How do you feel?" I asked him gently.
    He swallowed hard. "Just... good. Drunk, almost, or stoned."
    61
    Change of Heart
    by Mary Calmes
    "You smell different," another man said before clearing his throat.
    "Is 'different' good or bad?"
    "Good," he coughed. "Like musk and pine and grass after you cut it."
    I looked back at Crane, who shrugged his shoulders.
    "Jin."
    My attention returned to Christophe before he suddenly grabbed my bicep and walked me away from the others, halfway down the street. I rolled my shoulder when we stopped, and his hand slid off me.
    "Sorry."
    "It's okay." I forced a smile.
    "Jin." He cleared his throat. "You're a reah."
    We had already established that.
    "I never considered having a male mate."
    "You have a mate," I reminded him.
    "I have a yareah; I don't have a reah, and any semel may leave his mate if and when he finds his true mate, his reah."
    "I think that's bullshit."
    "But Jin, if I couldn't leave my yareah, how could I claim you as my—"
    "Oh, you're not my mate," I said matter-of-factly, trying to go around him. "And Crane and I need to go."
    "No, Jin." He reached out and stopped me with a hand on my shoulder before I could go. "Please, reah, I—"
    "I'm not your mate," I snapped at him, my patience gone.
    "We both know it. Why waste time talking? Just move."
    62
    Change of Heart
    by Mary Calmes
    "But I would still like you to stay with me, reah... with me and my tribe. I will take care of you, protect you, give you shelter."
    "That's very flattering." I stepped by him. "But no."
    He grabbed my shoulder again. "I need you."
    "No, you don't," I said, peeling his fingers off me, moving faster so he couldn't reach me a second time.
    "Please, reah, stay."
    I sped up, jogging away from him.
    "Why?" he called after me down the street.
    I didn't look back. The desperation of the man was overwhelming, his desire for me palpable. And he was weak, not physically, but inside. Strength was missing from his eyes, from the way he carried himself, even from the tone of his voice. And weakness would never do.
    "Jin." Crane caught up with me. "Is it like that with all semels? Even if you're not their mate, they wanna keep you?"
    I looked both ways before I crossed the street.
    "Jin?"
    "I guess," I answered him.
    "You guess?"
    "I dunno." I got to the other side of the street and kept moving.
    "But all your meetings go that same way?"
    "Pretty much," I breathed out. "They meet me, I explain that I'm not their mate, and then they try to talk me into in anyway."
    "And have you ever been hurt in the process?"
    "Once or twice," I admitted without explaining any more.
    63
    Change of Heart
    by Mary Calmes
    "When we were in Santa Fe that time... you came back to the hotel room all cut up. Was that what happened?"
    "Why are we talking about this?" I asked as I sped up, walking faster.
    "I just wanna know."
    "Fine, yeah, that's what happened. Sometimes when I say no, it's hard for a semel. Think about it—they are tribe leaders; the ego that comes along with that has gotta be huge. They're not used to hearing 'no'."
    "It's more than that."
    "How much more can it be?"
    "Well, maybe even though you're not their mate, you're still a reah, and they know you're probably the only one they're ever gonna see."
    I didn't feel like hypothesizing with him.
    "It's a big deal, Jin, meeting a reah. I don't think you get it, 'cause you are one, and I don't think I get it, 'cause I've known you all my life, but I think to everybody else... I think seeing you is like a religious experience or something."
    I gave him a look.
    "I didn't tell you that I thought it was. I'm just telling you that I think that's why semels lose their minds when they meet you. They just can't believe they're actually seeing you."
    "Okay," I indulged him.
    "Don't be a dick. I'm being serious."
    "Jin!"
    I looked over my shoulder, and there was Mikhail, Logan Church's sylvan again. I just stood there on the sidewalk 64
    Change of Heart
    by Mary Calmes
    looking at him, and he stared back. After a few minutes, when I was sure he wasn't going to move, I turned to leave.
    "Jin!"
    I looked back over at him.
    "Please don't force my hand."
    He looked like he had actually meant the "please," so I gave up and jogged over to him.
    "What do you want?"
    He shrugged. "It seems only fair that since you have met