Change of Heart
ask where you came from and—"
I couldn't contain my gasp, because really, it was like he hit me. I had been so wrong. He had not made the trip to destroy my dreams, to take everything away from me by trying to talk Logan out of loving me. His intentions were much more insidious. He had come from Chicago to fill me with self-loathing, to spread his venom for the second time in my life, and to engulf me in fear and doubt in the hopes that I would run again. He could not have his gay son be the reah of a tribe. Just the thought was killing him.
"You're vile," he said coldly, his voice steeped in hatred,
"and you bring shame to Logan and his tribe with your very presence and to me for being your father."
I nodded, rubbing my eyes, trying to stop the tears. I had to get myself under control, but it was hard. Letting go of something old was painful, and accepting something new was overwhelming. When the truth ambushed you, it was tough to get your bearings, especially with only seconds to work with.
283
Change of Heart
by Mary Calmes
"Get out of my house," I said, stepping away from my father, feeling gutted suddenly, like a building after a fire, utterly destroyed.
"It's not your house; it's not your home! You have no home, no place with any panther tribe. You were exiled."
The thing about burned buildings was that they could be rebuilt. And even though my father and his love for me were gone forever, I was still standing and my foundation was strong.
"You cannot think that Logan truly loves you," my father spewed as he advanced on me. "It is simply the power of a reah working on his senses. When he has his fill of you, when the spell is broken, he will drive you from his home and perhaps even butcher you in the process for your role in the seduction of his true nature."
He was so matter-of-fact with his threats of my demise.
What had ever possessed me to hope for his love? But really, I knew the answer. This was still my father spouting his rage and hatred and lies. The blue eyes were still his, the dark brown hair now streaked with silver was cut as it had been forever, and his smell, his aftershave, remained unchanged.
This was the man who had raised me even though he no longer saw me at all.
"When Logan discovers what you have taken from him——
his name, his pride, his reputation, his very standing in our community—he will hate you and may very well kill you."
I took a step back, but he grabbed my arm, his fingers digging into my bicep hard. His grip would leave marks.
284
Change of Heart
by Mary Calmes
"Jin, did you see where your dad went?" Crane asked as he walked back into the kitchen.
"Yep," I said sarcastically, taking a quivering breath.
Crane moved fast, and my father let me go, making room, seeing the look on my best friend's face. "What the hell is going on?" Crane roared, pointing an accusing finger at my father before pivoting around to face me. "And you!"
"Me?"
"Yes, you! What the hell are you doing in here talking to him like it's nothing! You never receive anyone without your sheseru, Jin. You know that. Everybody knows that. You gotta start acting like the reah you are!"
He was pissed at me? "Why're you mad?"
"Because you don't realize how important you are, and you gotta start. Without you, nothing works!"
And he was right. I had to realize who I was.
The air in the room that had felt old and stagnant moments before was suddenly moving again, like Crane had brought with him a refreshing breeze. I felt the tension draining out of me, melting away. How good to be reminded that I was loved.
"And what are you thinking, putting your hands on our reah?" Crane snapped at my father, shoving between Mitchell Rayne and me, his muscular frame forcing my father back.
"You're just a sylvan; you can be punished for such a trespass."
My father saw me as the dirt beneath his feet, and Crane as merely the disowned son of the sheseru of his tribe.
"Watch how you speak to me, boy."
285
Change of Heart
by Mary Calmes
"Watch how you speak to me," Crane thundered back at him, and I watched my father take a step away. "I am beset of a reah, and as such command you to remove yourself from his presence or I shall be forced to call for my sheseru."
"Crane—"
But my friend's motion cut him off as he turned his back on my father to face me. "I know it goes without saying, but I want to stick around and join your tribe."
I was momentarily stunned. "Oh, I- I thought, I mean, I always
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