Chasing Daisy

pants, exactly?’
    ‘Holly!’ Her comment takes me by surprise. ‘I just don’t!’
    She gives me a wry look.
    ‘Jesus, will everyone please stop going on about how much I should be with Luis!’
    ‘Who else is going on about it?’
    ‘My nonna. She’s thinks he’s better suited to me than Will was.’
    My heart clenches. It’s funny how sometimes I can say Will’s name so easily without thinking about him, but other times reality will hit me, and the pain does, too. It’s been almost three months and while the grief is definitely lessening, it often still hurts like he died only yesterday.
    ‘Are you okay?’ Holly sees my face.
    ‘I’m just tired. I don’t know how I’m going to work tonight.’
    ‘Shit! What’s the time?’
    I glance at my watch. ‘Car will be here in twenty.’
    ‘Bollocks.’ She leaps off the bed and rushes through to the bathroom. I hear the tap turn on and assume she’s splashing her face with cold water to tone down the redness.
    I change into my team uniform and she emerges a short while later.
    ‘Ready?’
    ‘As I’ll ever be.’
    It feels surreal going to work late in the afternoon like this. I barely see anyone from lunchtime during qualifying – I don’t know if they’re avoiding me or if it’s just a coincidence, but I’m relieved nonetheless. Holly and I watch from the pits as Luis swipes pole position before Kit Bryson, who’s now leading the championship, takes it back from him. The team is in high spirits regardless, because Luis is still on the front row of the grid.
    Now it’s race day – or should that be, race night – and I’m back in the pits again for the start. The track is floodlit so it almost replicates daylight conditions to make it less dangerous for the drivers. With the city’s stunning skyline and a view of the Singapore Flyer Ferris wheel glowing blue, purple and yellow in the background, the atmosphere here is electric.
    Luis was sitting on a table at the back of the garage when Holly and I arrived. His car was already on the grid, but he seemed in no rush to get out there. I was about to go and talk to him, but his expression was so serious and determined, I was worried I might distract him. Then he got up, pulled white earphones from his ears and stalked out of the garage to the pit wall. I had no idea he was listening to music. Now I’m wondering if he does so before every race, to psyche himself up. I was always so sidetracked with Will in the past, I never paid Luis that much attention.
    He has a fantastic start, overtaking Kit Bryson before the first corner and immediately putting some distance between him and the rest of the pack. But when, a third of the race later, he has to come in for a pit stop, something goes wrong with the fuel rig. It doesn’t detach from the car properly and Luis pulls away, dragging poor Dan with him. Luis stops a split-second later when he realises something’s wrong, and luckily Dan is unharmed, because mechanics in the past have broken their arms in similar situations. It soon transpires that the accident has relegated Luis down to fourth. What follows is one of the most tense and exciting races I’ve ever witnessed. In fact, if I weren’t so rooted to the spot, I’d be quite happy to watch on the big screen in the hospitality area so I could hear what the commentators are saying. One by one, Luis outbreaks Antonio Aranda and Nils Broden in front of him. The next pit stop goes perfectly and soon he’s right behind Kit Bryson again.
    ‘Frederick is going to kill us,’ Holly shouts over the noise of the engines. We should have been back half an hour ago.
    ‘I don’t care!’ I shout back and she giggles.
    ‘Neither do I!’
    It all comes down to the last lap. There’s less than half a second between Kit and Luis. Will Kit make a mistake? Will Simon warn Luis to keep his distance rather than risk another crash? If he does, Luis ignores him because, suddenly, he pulls out from behind Kit and everyone in the garage holds their breath as he takes the corner. They’re so close, surely they’re going to touch, but no! Oh my God, Luis has done it! The chequered flag is waving up ahead as Kit pulls out and tries to overtake Luis again, but he fails. Luis is too quick. I’m screaming with elation as he crosses the start/finish line and everyone around me is cheering. Holly turns and hugs me. Will flicks through my mind, but I push him away. I can’t think of him now. I don’t want