Clouds and Rain

the outside shower.
    Grant was the ultimate alpha male, tall and overbearing, with well-developed muscles clear underneath his clothes. This, combined with what Gable had told him about Grant‟s reluctance to embrace the fact he was gay, made Flynn feel very uneasy about their relationship.
    Maybe it was a good thing Grant left when he did. Flynn hoped the man would simply keep traveling.
    When Flynn arrived at Gable‟s room, Gable was asleep. He was breathing calmly and had clearly been made comfortable after the earlier emotional outburst.
    “He‟s doing well,” his nurse said, appearing behind Flynn while Flynn stared at his lover. “Looks like he‟ll be able to go without the breathing tube.”
    “I hope so,” Flynn replied. “We have a lot to talk about.” TALKING with Gable wasn‟t really on the books the first few days.
    Although the nurses and Dr. Isaacs agreed he was doing well and would be allowed to leave the ICU soon, he slept almost all the time, 85

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    and when he woke, Flynn had to tell him time and time again where he was and how he‟d gotten there. Although the nurse who primarily cared for Gable told Flynn that Gable had seen what was left of his leg when he tended to the wound, they hadn‟t really discussed it.
    When Gable was transferred to an ordinary hospital ward, Flynn knew he‟d have to broach the subject eventually. He had no idea how to do that, though. Gable still tired easily and would often lie back and close his eyes when they were talking, dozing off almost immediately.
    It made their interactions rather one-sided, and Flynn felt intensely lonely, especially since he was still not talking to Calley.
    “I want to go home,” Gable stated out of the blue.
    Flynn hadn‟t even noticed he‟d woken up again, so he put down his book and moved a little closer to Gable‟s bed. “You can‟t. You‟re not well enough.”
    “But all I do is lie here and sleep. I can do that just as well at home.”
    Flynn sighed. “You still need your dialysis. The doctors think your kidneys are recovering, but until they do, you‟ll still be in the hospital three days a week.” They‟d had this type of conversation a few times, but Gable was usually easily dissuaded. Not this time, though.
    “At least I can be home in between. I want to go home, Flynn.” Flynn bit his lips and tried to gather his courage. “You have to give it time, Gable. You were very sick.” Gable shook his head. “The walls are closing in on me here.”
    “You have to learn to walk again.” Flynn didn‟t look at Gable when he said it, but the only reply he got was silence. For a moment he thought Gable had fallen asleep again, but when he dared to look up, Gable was smiling.
    “I‟m getting stronger.” To stress the point, Gable raised his arms and showed what was left of his biceps. “I know I‟m always tired, but that will get better once I‟m home and can spend time with the horses and sleep in my own bed again.”
    Flynn swallowed. “You need physiotherapy for your leg, Gable.” 86

    Clouds and Rain

    “It doesn‟t hurt any more, Flynn. All that bed rest did some good, you see.”
    “Gabe….” Flynn‟s voice faltered. Gable was in denial, despite the fact that anyone walking into the room could see that there was only one foot tenting the sheet. Gable‟s other leg sort of… ended into nothingness. Flynn had seen the stump a few times when Gable was still sedated and he‟d forced himself to look at it, knowing that if he had his way he‟d have to get used to it, because he was going to have to look at it for a long time to come. That first time it had made him gag, emotions running high when he imagined Gable‟s reaction. Now he could look at it and think about it without showing much reaction, but on the inside, the fact that Gable had shown no acknowledgement of it at all still made him apprehensive. “Gable,” he repeated, placing his hand on Gable‟s leg, just above the knee and far away from the bandaged stump.
    When Flynn looked up, Gable‟s eyes filled with tears and he shook his head so minutely, Flynn almost missed it.
    “I can‟t stay here,” Gable murmured. “This hospital is making me sick.”
    “I‟ll talk to the doctor and see what I can do, okay?” Flynn reassured him, moving closer so he could put his arm around Gable‟s shoulder. Flynn didn‟t dare go any further. He wanted to touch his lover, make him feel loved and wanted, but they hadn‟t