Complete Works

the Office must hold his wages then.” Donkin entered. He seemed out of breath, was grave, full of business. He went straight to the desk, talked with animation to the clerk, who thought him an intelligent man. They discussed the account, dropping h’s against one another as if for a wager — very friendly. Captain Allistoun paid. “I give you a bad discharge,” he said, quietly. Donkin raised his voice: — ”I don’t want your bloomin’ discharge — keep it. I’m goin’ ter ‘ave a job ashore.” He turned to us. “No more bloomin’ sea fur me,” he said, aloud. All looked at him. He had better clothes, had an easy air, appeared more at home than any of us; he stared with assurance, enjoying the effect of his declaration. “Yuss. I ‘ave friends well off. That’s more’n you got. But I am a man. Yer shipmates for all that. Who’s comin fur a drink?”
    No one moved. There was a silence; a silence of blank faces and stony looks. He waited a moment, smiled bitterly, and went to the door. There he faced round once more. “You won’t? You bloomin’ lot of yrpocrits. No? What ‘ave I done to yer? Did I bully yer? Did I ‘urt yer? Did I?... You won’t drink?... No!... Then may ye die of thirst, every mother’s son of yer! Not one of yer ‘as the sperrit of a bug. Ye’re the scum of the world. Work and starve!”
    He went out, and slammed the door with such violence that the old Board of Trade bird nearly fell off his perch.
    “He’s mad,” declared Archie. “No! No! He’s drunk,” insisted Belfast, lurching about, and in a maudlin tone. Captain Allistoun sat smiling thoughtfully at the cleared pay-table.
    Outside, on Tower Hill, they blinked, hesitated clumsily, as if blinded by the strange quality of the hazy light, as if discomposed by the view of so many men; and they who could hear one another in the howl of gales seemed deafened and distracted by the dull roar of the busy earth. — ”To the Black Horse! To the Black Horse!” cried some. “Let us have a drink together before we part.” They crossed the road, clinging to one another. Only Charley and Belfast wandered off alone. As I came up I saw a red-faced, blowsy woman, in a grey shawl, and with dusty, fluffy hair, fall on Charley’s neck. It was his mother. She slobbered over him: — ”O, my boy! My boy!” — ”Leggo of me,” said Charley, “Leggo, mother!” I was passing him at the time, and over the untidy head of the blubbering woman he gave me a humorous smile and a glance ironic, courageous, and profound, that seemed to put all my knowledge of life to shame. I nodded and passed on, but heard him say again, good-naturedly: — ”If you leggo of me this minyt — ye shall ‘ave a bob for a drink out of my pay.” In the next few steps I came upon Belfast. He caught my arm with tremulous enthusiasm. — ”I couldn’t go wi’ ‘em,” he stammered, indicating by a nod our noisy crowd, that drifted slowly along the other sidewalk. “When I think of Jimmy... Poor Jim! When I think of him I have no heart for drink. You were his chum, too... but I pulled him out... didn’t I? Short wool he had.... Yes. And I stole the blooming pie.... He wouldn’t go.... He wouldn’t go for nobody.” He burst into tears. “I never touched him — never — never!” he sobbed. “He went for me like... like ... a lamb.”
    I disengaged myself gently. Belfast’s crying fits generally ended in a fight with some one, and I wasn’t anxious to stand the brunt of his inconsolable sorrow. Moreover, two bulky policemen stood near by, looking at us with a disapproving and incorruptible gaze. — ”So long!” I said, and went on my way.
    But at the corner I stopped to take my last look at the crew of the Narcissus. They were swaying irresolute and noisy on the broad flagstones before the Mint. They were bound for the Black Horse, where men, in fur caps with brutal faces and in shirt sleeves, dispense out of varnished barrels the illusions of strength, mirth, happiness; the illusion of splendour and poetry of life, to the paid-off crews of southern-going ships. From afar I saw them discoursing, with jovial eyes and clumsy gestures, while the sea of life thundered into their ears ceaseless and unheeded. And swaying about there on the white stones, surrounded by the hurry and clamour of men, they appeared to be creatures of another kind — lost, alone, forgetful, and doomed; they were like castaways, like reckless and joyous