Confessions of a Reluctant Recessionista

They asked me about my background and I handed them a CV which Olly scanned briefly before handing it back to me.
    ‘Oh, that’s for you,’ I said.
    ‘No need, no need,’ Rupert said. ‘Nick’s told us awfully good things about you. And to be perfectly honest with you, we’re in a bit of a jam. Last girl we got in was bloody useless. Do you think you could start next week? Three-month trial, four hundred quid a week. Not great, I know, but it’s the best I can do at themoment. If it all works out, we can renegotiate in a few months’ time. What do you say?’
    I was stunned. I’d only been here five minutes and they had already offered me a job. I hadn’t had to answer a single question yet, unless you count whether I’d prefer a latte or an espresso. When I eventually regained the power of speech, I said, ‘I say yes! That would be fantastic. Thank you so much.’ The money was not particularly good, but who cared? Working for a wine company for minimum wage would be better than dragging a pack of hounds around Clapham Common in December for seven pounds an hour. I would be working for a wine company! There would be tastings and free booze and – oh, my God, the excitement, the glamour – trips to check out vineyards in exotic locales.
    ‘Excellent!’ Rupert said, and he and his brother took turns in shaking me warmly by the hand.
    ‘I think that calls for a celebration, don’t you?’ Olly asked. ‘Fancy a sneaky glass of Villa Anita? Lovely stuff.’
    ‘It’s a bit early for me,’ I said, glancing nervously at my watch. It was ten thirty in the morning.
    ‘Nonsense!’ Rupert said and ordered three glasses of wine.
    This was going to be a fantastic job.
    Rupert and Olly sent me on my way with a folder full of bumf on the company as well as a brief job description typed up on a sheet of A4 which appeared to have been written by either a dyslexic or a very poortypist. I counted three spelling errors in the first paragraph. They certainly were in need of a secretary. The official title of the post was ‘ office administrator ’: I would be ‘ responsible for maintaining the smooth running of the office, including managment [sic] of administration, office supplies, maintenance, invoicing and reciepting [sic] payments, IT support systems and recruitment ’. I would need to be able to ‘ work independantly [sic] and take responsibility for a wide variety of tasks ’ etc. etc. In other words, I would have to do a bit of everything.
    On the tube on the way home I read through the company information.
    Vintage Organics was set up in October 2008 by Rupert and Oliver Forsythe with the aim of bringing the finest in organically grown wines from across the globe to the British consumer. Our staff have travelled the world to select the best wines made from the finest grapes. We have visited vineyards in France, Italy, Spain, Portugal, California, New Zealand, South Africa, Argentina and Chile; buying only from environmentally and socially responsible producers .
    The Forsythe brothers have wine in their blood. Their maternal grandfather, Nicolas Leroy, is the proprietor of Chateau Saint Chinian in the Corbiere region of the Languedoc. He is a pioneer of organic wine production in France and is renowned as one of the region’s finest viticulteurs. ‘My fondest memories of childhood are of holidays spent at the chateau with my grandfather, playing hide-and-seek among the vines with my brother, helping with the harvest and being allowed to taste a drop of the new wines when they were ready to drink,’ Rupert Forsythe says .
    Having spent the first part of his career working in the City, Rupert decided that he wanted to return to his wine-making roots. ‘Although both Olly and I have always had a passion for wine, it has taken us many years to realise that wine for us is more than a simple pleasure, it is a calling .’
    Rupert Forsythe has an impressive business pedigree: he has worked in the corporate finance departments of some of the world’s largest financial institutions, including Barclays, HSBC, Grant & Waters and Hamilton Churchill .
    Oliver Forsythe trained as a solicitor before joining the Civil Service, where he worked in the Department of Agriculture, Fisheries and Foods. He is the Liberal Democrats’ parliamentary candidate for the Borough of Kensington and Chelsea .
    The more I found out about the firm, and about the brothers Forsythe, the more excited I became. Rupert had told me