Crewel

am.’
    ‘Fine. She’s in love with Erik. He was some nobody who came to work in the kitchen a few years ago, but then Maela adopted him.’ Her voice shakes with panic, not rage.
    ‘She’s ten years older than him. At least.’
    She shoots me another exasperated look. ‘Back off before she takes even more of an interest in you.’
    ‘I was just dancing with him,’ I argue, not sure even I believe it. ‘It’s that or let some creepy Guild official paw me all night.’
    ‘Ad,’ she pleads, ‘I sympathise, I really do, and Erik is very charming, but there are two things you need to consider. The first is how angry Maela will be if she finds out.’
    ‘And the second?’
    ‘That Erik’s intentions aren’t necessarily as honourable as he makes it seem.’
    I blush. ‘Look, I know we aren’t allowed to get married, and I know there are limits, but I never thought . . .’
    ‘That,’ she says pointedly, ‘is not what I’m talking about. You’re cosying up to Maela’s assistant. You don’t find it suspicious that he’s taken an interest in you?’
    ‘Well, I do now.’ How had this not occurred to me? Since our trip together, I’d started to trust him without even realising it.
    ‘You’re already walking a thin line – the way you ran and the attention you’re drawing to yourself. Arras doesn’t work this way, Adelice. Secrets—’
    ‘Don’t have a place here.’ It bursts viciously out of my mouth.
    But instead of being annoyed, she titters wryly. ‘No, there are plenty of secrets here, believe me, but some of us realise the danger of flaunting them.’
    I open my mouth to protest, but she raises her hand to stop me.
    ‘Let me finish. I don’t want to be another person trying to control you—’
    ‘Then don’t!’ I yell. ‘You aren’t my mom.’
    ‘I’m not trying to replace your mother. No one can do that,’ she says in a quiet voice.
    ‘No,’ I retort. ‘Not even the Guild.’
    Enora backs away from me. She opens her mouth to speak but closes it again as if she can’t find the right words. We both know there are no right words when it comes to what the Guild did to my family.
    ‘I have to get back before they notice I’m gone.’ Enora reaches out a hand as if to comfort me but thinks better of it and heads out to the party.
    I take my time going back to the ball, afraid I’ll cry in front of the Stream crews. When I’m sure I’m calm enough, I slip out of the bathroom, still trying to decide how to dump Erik so I can sneak to my room and rip open a pillow, when a pair of strong hands pulls me away from the busy banquet room and into the dark hall.
    ‘I thought I’d been left to fend off drunk old men,’ Erik says, quietly, to avoid sending an echo down the empty marble hallway.
    ‘The Guild officials are getting broad-minded,’ I murmur, the ache in my chest suddenly spreading to where his hands hold my bare arms.
    ‘Come on, I want to show you something.’ He slips his fingers through mine, and against my better judgement, I follow him.
    ‘Erik, I don’t think this is a good idea.’
    ‘Let me guess.’ He laughs good-naturedly. ‘Enora was warning you that Maela will put your head on a spike if she catches us together?’
    Something about the casual way he says this makes me feel silly for listening to her.
    ‘Why do you think I’m pilfering you away tonight?’ he asks earnestly.
    Enora’s warning about his intentions echoes in my head. ‘I’m not sure.’
    ‘Because Maela is too busy to notice, and by this point everyone else is too tipsy to watch you.’
    ‘So it’s true then?’ I ask breathlessly. ‘I’m still being watched.’
    ‘Of course you are,’ he says. ‘We all are, but on nights like this security is busy keeping Spinsters to their purity obligations, and I told them I would keep an eye on you.’
    Another reason I shouldn’t be here with him now.
    ‘Where are we going anyway?’ I ask as he leads me down another empty corridor.
    ‘We’re here.’ He drops my hand and dramatically opens two large wooden doors directly in front of us.
    The moon casts a faint silver glaze on the flowers and sparkles at us from the cobbled walkway that leads into the heart of the garden I walked through on my first day of orientation. I’ve rarely been outside since my arrival here, and then only under close supervision. Right now Erik is anything but a chaperone.
    He offers his arm and sweeps me toward the centre of the garden. ‘Care to