Cut and Run 7 - Touch and Geaux

“I don’t know. I hadn’t thought about it.”
    “Yes you have, Ty. You think about everything.”
    Ty turned his head to look at Zane.
    “How’d you know he was here?”
    Ty’s focus drifted until it was on the wall over Zane’s shoulder.
    “You think it was magic, don’t you? Voodoo. Fate.”
    “I don’t know.” Ty sighed and pushed the pillow away. “You don’t believe in any of it, so what does it matter?”
    “I believe in you,” Zane whispered. Ty looked at him sharply. “I believe you used to be one scary son of a bitch, Ty. Everything I’ve been told, the glimpses I’ve seen from you. What I’ve heard from Miami.”
    Ty was hoarse when he spoke. “What’s your point, Zane?”
    “I think you put that person behind you because you hated him. Because it scared you.”
    Ty swallowed hard and snorted.
    “You’re not a coward, Ty. I know what it takes to scare you. And I think the thing you’re afraid of more than anything in the world is yourself. But when Richard Burns told you I was in trouble, you brought that man back out. For me.”
    Ty stared at the ceiling, unwilling or unable to meet Zane’s eyes. He was holding his breath, and as Zane’s eyes adjusted to the dark, he could see Ty trembling.
    “I’d still do it again,” Ty finally whispered.
    Goose bumps rose all over Zane’s body. He wondered what it would be like to see the man Ty was so frightened of showing him. He could see Ty closing off, so he switched directions. “When did you learn to speak Russian?”
    “I can’t.”
    “Liam said something to you today. He spoke in Russian.”
    Ty sighed. “I can understand it okay but I can’t speak it. I could never get the hang of it. He tried to teach me.”
    “What did he say?”
    Ty licked his lips, staring at the ceiling. “He told me there was no use in getting hurt in a fight for a man I’d lost.”
    Zane pushed onto his elbow, his eyes raking over the shadows that made up Ty’s face. “He’s you, isn’t he?” A frown marred his features. “He’s what you were like ten years ago.”
    Ty took a shaky breath. “Yes.”
    “What changed you?”
    “Richard Burns gave me a cause.” He closed his eyes and turned his head away.
    Zane fell silent, trying to connect the new pieces of the man in front of him. Nick had said the only thing keeping Ty on the ground was a sense of purpose. A cause. Now that Burns had turned his back on him, what would happen to Ty when this was over? Would he spiral away? Zane remembered the piece of silver Ty had melted down for him, the anchor etched into it. Pain and fear flooded him, squeezing his chest.
    The only thing he could make of it was that, tomorrow, Ty intended to risk a bullet to the chest for him. Zane wanted to shake him, to scream at him. As angry as he had been, as willing to walk away as he’d thought he was, the thought of never finding all these pieces to the puzzle, of losing Ty now, setting Ty adrift in that big sea of his mind, was terrifying.
    Zane reached out, sliding his hand over Ty’s waist beneath the covers. Ty tensed under his fingers, but Zane scooted into the neutral territory of the bed anyway, wrapping his arm over Ty’s waist, pulling himself closer. He shoved his face against Ty’s cheek and inhaled deeply. Ty’s shoulder was rigid against him.
    But then, Ty reached up for him. His fingers brushed through Zane’s hair. His hand was cool against Zane’s skin when he placed it on Zane’s ribs.
    He pushed his forehead against Zane’s lips. Zane kissed his skin. “You’re still,” Zane whispered. “That means you’re expending so much energy worrying, your body doesn’t need to fidget.”
    Ty laughed, but it was a hollow sound. “I love that you know that about me,” he said sadly. His fingers tightened against Zane’s back. “I don’t know how to make this better, Zane.”
    Zane closed his eyes. He didn’t either. The words settled in the room like fog rolling in off the Mississippi. Zane’s mouth went dry. “It can’t be over,” he whispered. “Right? Not when neither of us want it to be.”
    Ty lifted his head, and they lay facing each other in the dark.
    “We’ve never made it simple,” Zane finally said.
    Ty laid his hand on Zane’s cheek. “I swear to you, Zane. I thought what I was doing was right. I searched for you after I left New York. You were out of my reach. When Burns read me in, the only thing I could think of was that it was the only way of getting