Cutler 01 - Dawn

been freezing out there, James Gary. Your hair is soaked. And so are your clothes. You could have caught pneumonia!"
    "Who cares?"
    "I care," I said. "Now get out of those wet clothes quickly," I ordered and went for a towel. When I returned, he was wrapped in the blanket, his wet clothing on the floor. I sat beside him and began to wipe his hair dry. When I was finished, I saw the outline of his-smile in the dark.
    "I never met another girl like you, Dawn," he said. "And I'm not just saying that because you're my sister. I guess I came back because I didn't want to leave you all alone with this mess. I got to thinking about you having to go back to that school and how you'd have no one to protect you."
    "Oh, Jimmy, I don't need protection, and besides, if I do, Daddy will protect me, won't he?"
    "Sure," he said, pulling his hand back. "Just like he protected us today. I tried to tell him it wasn't my fault, but he wouldn't listen. All he could do was yell at me for being no good and letting him down. And then he goes and hits me."
    He flopped back on his pillow.
    "He shouldn't have hit you, Jimmy. But he said you reminded him of his brother Reuben who's in jail now."
    "Reuben?"
    "Yes," I said, lowering myself to lie beside him. "He told me all about him and why he was so afraid when you got into trouble. He says you look like Reuben and even act like him sometimes."
    "I don't remember him mentioning anyone named Reuben," he said.
    "Me neither. Daddy's been back to his home," I whispered even lower, and told him what Daddy had said about his visit.
    "I was thinking of heading for Georgia myself when I left here," he said, his voice full of wonder.
    "Were you? Oh, Jimmy," I said, sitting up and looking down at him, "can't you try again, just once more, just for me? Ignore those nasty boys and just do your work."
    "It's hard to ignore them when they get ugly and disgusting." He looked away from me.
    "What did they say to you, Jimmy? Philip wouldn't tell me." Jimmy was silent. "It had to do with me and Philip, didn't it?" There was a long painful silence between us.
    "Yeah," he finally said.
    "They knew they could get you angry that way, Jimmy." And it was all because of Clara Sue Cutler, thought, and her vicious jealous streak. I never disliked anyone as much as I disliked her. "They were deliberately baiting you, Jimmy."
    "I know, but . . . I can't help getting angry when anyone says bad things about you, Dawn," he confessed, gazing at me with eyes so full of hurt it made my heart ache. "I'm sorry if you're mad," he finished.
    "I'm not mad at you. I like the way you look after me, only I don't want to cause you any trouble."
    "You didn't," he said. "But it's just like you to think it was all your fault. All right," he said after a moment and after a deep sigh, "I'll sit out my suspension and go back and try again, but I don't think it's going to matter. We just don't belong there. At least, I don't," he added.
    "Sure you do, Jimmy. You're just as smart and strong as any of them."
    "I don't mean I'm not as good as them. I'm just not their kind. Maybe you are, Dawn. You can get along with anyone. I bet you could make the devil repent."
    I laughed.
    "I'm glad you came back, Jimmy. It would have broken Momma's heart if you hadn't, and Daddy's, too. Little Fern would have been crying for you every day."
    "And you?" he asked quickly.
    "I was crying already," I admitted. He didn't say anything. After a moment he took my hand and squeezed it gently. It seemed like it had been so long since he had wanted to touch me. I brushed back the strands of hair that had fallen over his forehead. I felt like kissing him softly on the cheek, but I didn't know how he would react. We were so close, my breast grazed his arm, but unlike all the other times, he didn't jump as if he had been stuck with a pin. Suddenly I felt him shudder.
    "Aren't you warm enough, Jimmy?"
    "I'll be all right," he said, but I put my arm around him and held him, rubbing his naked shoulder.
    "You'd better get under the blanket yourself and go back to sleep, Dawn," he said, his voice cracking.
    "All right. Night, Jimmy," I whispered and risked kissing him on the cheek. He didn't pull away.
    "Good night," he said, and I lay back. For a long time I stared up into the darkness, my emotions in a turmoil. When I closed my eyes, I still saw Jimmy's naked shoulders glistening in the darkness, and the feel of his soft cheek still lingered on my lips.

 
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