Cutler 04 - Midnight Whispers

quickly.
    "She didn't really tell me anything. She just made it seem as if . . ."
    "Fern hates herself so much, she just wants to make life miserable for everyone else too," she said.
    "I wouldn't believe anything she said anyway," I said. She smiled and nodded.
    "You really are growing up fast, honey, and you should be told everything about the family. I want you to know something, Christie," she declared, her eyes fixed on me so intently, my heart began to race. "Uncle Philip . . . well, Uncle Philip never quite got over everything, especially the discovery about who he and I really were to each other. Do you understand what I'm trying to tell you, honey?"
    I swallowed over the lump that had risen in my throat. What she was trying to tell me, I had felt and seen in so many different ways, but as a much younger girl I had not understood. Time rolled backward and memories of Uncle Philip's intense gaze at Mommy, a gaze that appeared hypnotic at times, returned. I recalled the way he always seemed to be hovering close to her, searching for and seizing upon opportunities to touch her or kiss her.
    "But he loves Aunt Bet, doesn't he?" I asked. I couldn't help but be seized by fear because of these revelations.
    "Yes," Mommy said reassuringly.
    "But not the way you and Daddy love each other," I declared.
    "No," she said, then smiled a little. "But few people do." She stood up and came around her desk to me. "Let's not dwell on these sad and troubled thoughts, honey. Aunt Fern was cruel to bring them up." We walked to the door together. "You're going to graduate from high school and go on to be a wonderful pianist. And your brother is going to become tame," she added with wide, hopeful eyes. We laughed.
    "I love you, Mommy, and I never would believe anything ugly about you, no matter what Aunt Fern or anyone else says."
    Mommy's face grew serious, her eyes smaller, darker.
    "I'm not perfect, Christie. No one is, but I won't ever lie to you or betray you, not the way people who were supposed to love me lied to me and betrayed me. I promise." She kissed me on the cheek. "Now go check up on Jefferson for me, and enjoy the beautiful sunshine.
    "I just dread receiving Jefferson's report card tomorrow," she added. "His behavior report is sure to be all in red."
    "Maybe we'll all be pleasantly surprised tomorrow, Mommy," I said.
    "Maybe, but I doubt it," she said, but neither Mommy nor I could ever realize how prophetic her statement was.
     
    It took me most of the remainder of the afternoon and much of the evening to make a dent in the pile of gifts I had received. I wanted to get my thank-you cards out as quickly as I could. Jefferson was rather cute, sitting beside me on the floor in the living room announcing each gift and who had given it. I had received some very expensive gifts which included clothing, jewelry, perfume and other toiletries, as well as things for my room.
    When Mommy insisted Jefferson get ready for bed, I stopped but promised him I wouldn't continue until he could help me tomorrow after school. I was quite tired myself and retired to my room, mainly to await anxiously Gavin's promised phone call. My eyes fell on Aunt Fern's tightly wrapped gift. It was one I didn't want to open in front of Jefferson or anyone else for that matter, especially Daddy. But I couldn't help but be curious.
    I opened it slowly and then casually turned the pages. Why was Aunt Fern so determined I read this story? I wondered, and recalled her final coy comment about chapter ten. I scanned the pages and discovered why. Of course, I had read and seen things more revealing, but somehow, maybe because it had come from Aunt Fern whom I had witnessed doing these sexual things, it all seemed that much more forbidden, and what they said about forbidden fruit would always be true. I couldn't take my eyes from the words describing the lovemaking. As I read on, I began to imagine myself and Gavin. I was so deeply involved in the chapter, I didn't hear the phone's first ring. When it rang a second time, I scooped it up quickly and slammed the book closed.
    "Hi," Gavin said. Hearing his voice after imagining ourselves together made me blush with guilt. "Hi. How was your trip?" I asked quickly.
    "Just as long. No, longer since I was going away from Cutler's Cove."
    "Just Cutler's Cove?"
    "And you," he said. "Things quiet down?" "Yes. Jefferson and I went through some of the pile of gifts. I got so many nice things."
    "I bet."
    "Tomorrow's our