Cutler 05 - Darkest Hour

when I didn't move.
    I rose from my chair, my eyes glued to Mamma, who had sat back to giggle again with her hand over her mouth. To see her this way put a shiver through me, but Emily was hovering over the table like a prison guard with a whip, waiting for me to obey her command. Reluctantly, my heart so heavy it felt like a chunk of stone in my chest, I hurried away from the table, got my books and followed Emily out of the house.
    "Who could Belinda be?" I wondered aloud. Emily turned, smirking.
    "A slave girl on her father's plantation," she replied. "I'm sure she's remembering something that really happened, something disgusting and evil, something I'm sure you enjoyed hearing."
    "I did not! Mamma is very sick. Why doesn't Papa send for a doctor?"
    "There's no doctor who can cure what she has," Emily said.
    "What does she have?"
    "Guilt," Emily replied with a look of satisfaction. "Guilt for not being as devout as she should have been. She knows that her sinful ways and her wickedness gave the devil the strength to live in our home. Probably in your room," she added. "And eventually, to take Eugenia. Now she's sorry, but it's too late and she's gone mad with guilt.
    "It's all in the Bible," she added, with a wry smile twisting her lips. "You just have to read it."
    "You're a liar!" I shouted. She simply smiled at me in her cold way and then quickened her steps. "You're a terrible liar! Mamma has no guilt. There was no devil in my room and he hasn't taken Eugenia. Liar!" I cried, the tears streaming down my cheeks. She disappeared around a turn. Good riddance, I thought and followed slowly, my head down, the tears still dripping from my cheeks when I reached Niles, who had waited for me at his driveway.
    "Lillian, what's wrong?" he cried, running to me.
    "Oh Niles." My shoulders shook with my sobs so, he put his books down quickly and embraced me.
    Quickly, between wails, I described what had happened, how Papa had beaten me, how Mamma had become increasingly strange.
    "There, there," he said, kissing me softly on the forehead and cheeks, "I'm sorry your father struck you. If I were older, I'd go over there and give him what for," he declared. "I would."
    He said it so firmly, I stopped my crying and lifted my head from his shoulder. Wiping my eyes, I looked into his and saw the anger he felt and I realized the love he had for me.
    "I'd gladly endure the pain of a beating from Papa if something could be done for poor Mamma," I said.
    "Maybe I can get my mother to go over to visit your mother and see what's become of her. Then she can ask your father to do something."
    "Oh will you, Niles? That might help. Yes, it might. No one comes to see Mamma anymore, so no one knows how poorly she's doing."
    "I'll mention it tonight at dinner," he promised. He wiped away my remaining tears with the back of his hand. "We'd better catch up," he said, "before Emily makes something sinful out of this, too."
    I nodded. Of course, he was right, so we hurried on to get to school on time.
    Niles's mother did pay a visit to The Meadows a few days later. Unfortunately, Mamma was asleep and Papa was away on one of his trips. She told Louella she would stop by another time, but when I asked Niles about it, he said his father had forbidden his mother to make another visit.
    "My father says it's not our business and we shouldn't poke our noses into your family's affairs. I think," he said, lowering his head with some shame, "he's simply afraid of your father and his temper. I'm sorry."
    "Maybe just go see Doctor Cory myself one day," I said. Niles nodded, even though we both knew I probably wouldn't. What he had said about Papa was true—he had a fiery temper and I was afraid to risk his anger. He might only stop the doctor from coming and then beat me for asking him.
    "Maybe she'll just get better herself," Niles wished. "My mother says time heals all wounds eventually. Papa says it's just taking your mother a little longer, but we should all be patient."
    "Maybe," I said, but not without much hope. "The only one who shows any real concern is Louella, but as you know, she's leaving very soon now."
    The remaining days that I had with Louella passed much too quickly until the morning of her departure came. When I awoke and realized it, I was reluctant to get up and go down to face the good-byes, but then I thought how terrible it would be for Louella to leave without my saying good-bye. I got dressed as quickly as I could.
    Henry was