Darkness Before Dawn

on the bed.
    "Come here," he rasps. When I gain enough courage to look at his face, we stare at each other for a moment, channeling the weight of our sadness onto each other. I scoot over until my thighs hit his and look down at my folded hands. He grabs a fistful of my hair and pulls my head onto his chest, and that's when I can't hold it in anymore and begin to cry.
    "I'm so sorry. I'm a horrible friend and a horrible girlfriend," I say in between gasping sobs.
    "Shhh, you're not," he responds.
    "I am," I cry before wiping my face clean again. "I am," I repeat in a whisper.
    He pulls me onto his lap before grabbing both sides of my face. "You are not. Stop saying that. You are an amazing person, you are an incredible girlfriend, and you're my best friend. I just can't handle you shutting me out like that. My entire life I've watched you shut people out, especially boyfriends, and I can't accept that you would do that to me. You never shut me out."
    I blink back new tears before he wipes my cheeks with the pads of his thumbs.
    "I can't tell you," I say brokenly. "You shouldn't have to bear the weight of everything involving my fucked up past."
    He gives me an incredulous look. "You can't be serious," he mutters, shaking his head. "Blake, your past is my past, your present is my present, and your future is my future. I bear the weight of everything that happens in your life. How can you not see that?"
    "I do, Cole. I do see it, which is why I know you shouldn't have to deal with more," I whisper, tearing my gaze from his.
    He gives me a soft kiss on the lips before carrying me to the bathroom and setting me down on top of the counter. He turns around and sets up the tub, which we've only used once since we moved here. I'm not really into soaking, but I am too exhausted to argue. Once it's filled, he puts his hand in to test the water, lifts me up and sets me in before undressing himself and sliding in behind me.
    He begins to massage my shoulders, his soothing touch melting away my anxiety. When he stops, I close my eyes and lean my back onto his chest, letting him wrap his arms around me.
    "Baby, you have to wake up," Cole whispers in my ear. I let out a surprised gasp as my eyes flutter open. "Hey, it's fine, I just don't want you to turn into a prune."
    I smile and turn my body to look at him, making water swish out of the tub. "Thank you. I needed this." He smiles back and winks at me before climbing out and fetching our towels.
    Once we're both dressed for bed, he takes hold of my hand and walks me back to our bed. I look at our intertwined fingers and squeeze them. Ever since I've been back, Cole has a newfound thing for holding my hand. It's cute and makes me smile every time he does it. He knows how to make me feel loved and protected.
    "Sleep. We'll finish our talk tomorrow," he murmurs before placing a kiss on my lips.
    "I love you," I whisper against his lips.
    "I love you more. To the moon and back," he replies before kissing me once more.
    I fall into a dreamless slumber and wake up the next morning to the smell of greasy bacon. I put my hand over my mouth and run to the bathroom before leaning over and emptying out everything in my system. I flush and wipe my mouth with the back of my hand when I'm done and get up slowly. When I turn around I find Cole watching me intently, leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed over his chest. He shakes his head at me before walking back out of the bathroom.
    "You're not going to give me a kiss good morning?" I ask with a smile as I watch him walk back to the kitchen.
    "Why don't you get dressed and meet me in the kitchen when you're done," he says without turning around. My eyebrows shoot up at his clipped tone and his attitude. I should probably let it go and do as I'm told, but it's clear that he's pissed off and I don't understand why. I stomp to where he is and pull his arm back so he can stop walking and look at me, but he snatches his arm from me and pins me with narrowed eyes.
    "Go get dressed!" he says loudly.
    I gape at him for a second. "What is wrong with you?" I ask, shuffling behind him when he continues walking.
    I decide to wait for his answer on this side of the counter to leave some space between us when he goes into the kitchen.
    He huffs out a breath as he places our breakfast on the plates in front of him. "Go get dressed, Blake. I'll have the food and coffee on the table by the time you come back out."
    "Are you going to tell me why