Days of Love and Blood

Tasha stood by the front glass windows to keep watch with one eye on us. Cooper slowly pushed open one of the doors and I slipped inside with my sword drawn high above my head. There was enough light from the high windows in the back room to see that no one was there. I moved to the back exit to let Johnson know that it was clear. I could see the crown of his dark hair through one of the lower windows.
    Just as I pushed open the door, a box moved to my left and I jumped. A possum crawled out of the box and made a beeline for the dark space in the open side closet, his salvation. I couldn’t help it and a small scream from my own mouth caught me off guard. I had thought it was a rat. Just then the door swung open, making me lose my balance as I had been leaning against it. A gun was in my face. I shut my eyes and held my breath.
    “Johnson!” Cooper flew at him and grabbed his arm, pushing it away from my nose. The gun fell to the floor and Cooper leaned backwards to throw a powerful punch at Johnson, breaking his nose instantly.
    “I didn’t know it was her! I couldn’t see, it was too bright outside. I heard a scream; I thought she was one of them!” Blood covered his chin and shirt.
    “Pay - the fuck - attention!” His bloody nose did nothing to soften Cooper who spat at Johnson as he lay crumpled on the ground, holding his hand over his face. “Ya okay?” he asked me softly.
    “Fine. Sorry, this was my fault. That thing scared the crap out of me.” I expected Cooper to lay into me for screaming at a tiny little woodland creature. I can remove the heads from homicidals yet I allowed a possum to turn me into a stereotype. I was the same way with spiders. Cooper said nothing for a moment and then gently touched my back, sending an unexpected moment of comfort throughout my body. He removed his shirt and handed it to Johnson to cover his nose. The sudden desire to reach out and touch his chest made me inhale deeply. I shook away the thought and quickly walked back into the main store to check on Tasha.

Keep Me Safe
    “Oh, Carson,” my mother gasped. “Oh, baby, I’m so, so sorry.”
    “What is it, Mom?” I heard her inhale deep, short bursts of air and then pause to blow her nose.
    “It’s your grandmother,” she whispered. “I’m so sorry to have to tell you this over the phone, baby. I know how much she meant to you. She passed away in the night.”
    “What?” I screamed. “Are you kidding me? That’s not right, Mom, no! I was on the phone with her - with her yesterday! She was fine!” Ritchie coasted into the kitchen wearing a concerned look. “No, no, no, she can’t…” I turned to face the wall.
    “Baby, I’m so sorry. It was sudden. They said it was a heart attack-”
    I ended the call before Mom could finish and glimpsed Ritchie standing there, cradling me with his eyes. I could see the curiosity, the concern - the sympathy. I didn’t want that. I didn’t want him to see me cry. I never let anyone see me cry. The thought of being emotionally vulnerable terrified me.
    I tried to get a hold of my grief but the news overwhelmed me. I couldn’t believe she was gone. I loved that woman like no other. She was my rock, my own personal angel, a salvation. SHE was the only one I would allow myself to cry in front of and now she was gone - gone forever. The weight of the news had me shakin g and my knees gave way. I held on to the counter to steady myself. With eyes brim-filled, I looked down at the cheap vinyl floor. I couldn’t find air and began to gasp.
    “My grandmother. She’s - she’s gone, passed away, sometime last night. I have to - I need to…”
    “Carson, honey, I’m so sorry. I know how important she was to you.” He put his hands on my arms and gently caressed me.
    “Don’t - I need to be alone, Ritchie.” I tried to push him away but he fought me and I was too weak to resist with any amount of vigor.
    “Carson, no.” He put his arms around me while I went limp and pulled me deep into his chest. “Let it go,” he whispered.
    As soon as the first meek howl emerged from my throat, I gave in and stopped push ing him away. I wailed like a child; I became a child and allowed Ritchie to see it all. At that moment, I relinquished control over my emotions and trusted him to take the lead. It was a relief and I cried until I had nothing left to give, falling asleep in his arms.

    We made a few more lengthy runs for supplies in the following weeks. We stocked up