Dead as a Doornail

book with one blunt fingernail. “Fiction just makes it all more interesting. Truth is so boring.”
    “Not in my world,” I said.

Chapter 11
    B ILL BROUGHT A date into Merlotte’s that night. I assumed this was payback for my kissing Sam, or maybe I was just being proud. This possible payback was in the form of a woman from Clarice. I’d seen her in the bar before every once in a while. She was a slim brunette with shoulder-length hair, and Danielle could hardly wait to tell me she was Selah Pumphrey, a real estate saleswoman who’d gotten the million-dollar sales award the year before.
    I hated her instantly, utterly, and passionately.
    So I smiled as brightly as a thousand-watt bulb and brought them Bill’s warm TrueBlood and her cold screwdriver quick as a wink. I didn’t spit in the screwdriver, either. That was beneath me, I told myself. Also, I didn’t have enough privacy.
    Not only was the bar crowded, but Charles was eyeing me watchfully. The pirate was in fine form tonight, wearing awhite shirt with billowing sleeves and navy blue Dockers, a bright scarf pulled through the belt loops for a dash of color. His eye patch matched the Dockers, and it was embroidered with a gold star. This was as exotic as Bon Temps could get.
    Sam beckoned me over to his tiny table, which we’d wedged into a corner. He had his bad leg propped up on another chair. “Are you all right, Sookie?” Sam murmured, turning away from the crowd at the bar so no one could even read his lips.
    “Sure, Sam!” I gave him an amazed expression. “Why not?” At that moment, I hated him for kissing me, and I hated me for responding.
    He rolled his eyes and smiled for a fleeting second. “I think I’ve solved your housing problem,” he said to distract me. “I’ll tell you later.” I hurried off to take an order. We were swamped that night. The warming weather and the attraction of a new bartender had combined to fill Merlotte’s with the optimistic and the curious.
    I’d left Bill, I reminded myself proudly. Though he’d cheated on me, he hadn’t wanted us to break up. I had to keep telling myself that, so I wouldn’t hate everyone present who was witnessing my humiliation. Of course, none of the people knew any of the circumstances, so they were free to imagine that Bill had dropped me for this brunette bitch. Which was so not the case.
    I stiffened my back, broadened my smile, and hustled drinks. After the first ten minutes, I began to relax and see that I was behaving like a fool. Like millions of couples, Bill and I had broken up. Naturally, he’d begun dating someone else. If I’d had the normal run of boyfriends, starting when I was thirteen or fourteen, my relationship with Bill would just be another in a long line of relationships that hadn’t panned out. I’d be able to take this in stride, or at least in perspective.
    I had no perspective. Bill was my first love, in every sense.
    The second time I brought drinks to their table, Selah Pumphrey looked at me uneasily when I beamed at her. “Thanks,” she said uncertainly.
    “Don’t mention it,” I advised her through clenched teeth, and she blanched.
    Bill turned away. I hoped he wasn’t hiding a smile. I went back to the bar.
    Charles said, “Shall I give her a good scare, if she spends the night with him?”
    I’d been standing behind the bar with him, staring into the glass-fronted refrigerator we kept back there. It held soft drinks, bottled blood, and sliced lemons and limes. I’d come to get a slice of lemon and a cherry to put on a Tom Collins, and I’d just stayed. He was entirely too perceptive.
    “Yes, please,” I said gratefully. The vampire pirate was turning into an ally. He’d saved me from burning, he’d killed the man who’d set fire to my house, and now he was offering to scare Bill’s date. You had to like that.
    “Consider her terrified,” he said in a courtly way, bowing with a florid sweep of his arm, his other hand on his heart.
    “Oh, you,” I said with a more natural smile, and got out the bowl of sliced lemons.
    It took every ounce of self-control I had to stay out of Selah Pumphrey’s head. I was proud of myself for making the effort.
    To my horror, the next time the door opened, Eric came in. My heart rate picked up immediately, and I felt almost faint. I was going to have to stop reacting like this. I wished I could forget our “time together” (as one of my favorite romance novels might term it) as