Death is Forever

Erin’s hand up to his lips once more. Very gently he caught her index finger between his teeth, tasted her, and released her quickly. “I’m trying to explain that in some ways I’m as new to this kind of playing as you are. Or did you see a lot of bad drive-in movies through steamy windows when you were a teenager?”
    She tried to laugh, but her breath was too thick in her throat. “No. I was thirteen until I turned nineteen. Gawky and shy and plain. Phil, my brother, didn’t help. I had a terrible crush on a boy who was three years older, a senior. When he asked me out, Phil called the guy and told him that if he so much as kissed me he’d be history. Saturday came and the guy didn’t show up. I found out later that he had a thing for virgins. Kept a regular scorecard.”
    “Funny how different men are. I never was interested in a virgin until you.”
    Erin closed her eyes. “Not so funny after all. I’m not a virgin.”
    “You’ve never given yourself to a man,” Cole said matter-of-factly. “That makes you a virgin in my book.” He released her hand. “Stay put while I make sure it’s safe to take a ride.”

13
Pacific Coast Highway
    Cole drove erratically, first slow, then too fast. It was deliberate. He studied traffic in mirrors, looking for cars that matched his speed.
    “Well?” Erin asked when she couldn’t stand it any more.
    “Nobody yet.”
    They turned off the highway and cruised several empty parking lots. No one took the bait. Finally he decided it was safe and parked at Will Rogers State Beach.
    Eager to be outside, she reached for the car door. Then she stopped and looked over at Cole. He was still studying the rear and sideview mirrors. Despite her impatience to be out on the beach with nothing in front of her but seven thousand miles of water, she didn’t open the door.
    “You’re a fast learner,” he said approvingly.
    “Pain is a great teacher.”
    “I’m sorry. I tried not to hurt you.”
    “You didn’t hurt me,” she said quickly. “That was why I stopped fighting. I expected to be hurt and I wasn’t. You’re damned heavy, though.”
    He smiled slightly. “Next time I’ll let you be on top.”
    She gave him a startled sideways look and then the kind of almost-shy smile that told him the thought intrigued her.
    “Two choices, honey,” he said. “Go for a walk or take a remedial course in window steaming.”
    She smiled sadly and looked away. “Don’t tempt me.”
    “Why not?”
    For a moment the car was silent. She turned around to face the man who had taught her more about sensual pleasure in a few minutes than she’d learned in her entire life. More importantly, he’d taught her the nature of the restlessness that had driven her from the arctic. The discovery of her own sexuality was as unexpected as Cole’s gentleness had been.
    “I’m interested in what you’re offering,” she said, “but I don’t know how much and I won’t until it happens. Or doesn’t happen. That’s not fair to you.”
    “If life was fair, someone would have gutted Hans before he had his first wet dream.”
    Erin stared. Though Cole’s tone was casual, his eyes were like hammered silver.
    “But life isn’t fair,” he said. “Only damned unexpected. Back in that hotel room you taught me something new about pleasure, and I would have sworn that was impossible. We could die before we take our next breath, or we could live to teach each other something else new about ourselves. So I’ll take what comes and not worry too much about what doesn’t. How about you?”
    “I—I don’t know.”
    “Think about it. And while you do, think about this. A man who can’t control himself belongs to anyone who can. I don’t belong to anyone but myself. We could be dead naked and you could be all over me like a hot rain, but if you changed your mind, I’d get up and get dressed and that would be the end of it.” Cole’s ice-pale glance went from mirror to mirror as he spoke. “While you think about that, let’s walk. We’ve both been caged up more than we’re used to.”
    Erin waited until he came around and opened her car door. Caution, not old-fashioned etiquette. When he laced his fingers through hers once more, she found herself smiling. He saw the pale gleam of her teeth in the moonlight and smiled in return.
    “You really like being outside, don’t you?” he said.
    “Yes, but that’s not why I’m smiling. I feel about sixteen again, holding hands