Definitely Dead

more to have a panther. She may not be able to have a baby of your brother’s. Do you feel obliged to talk to him about that?”
    “It shouldn’t be up to me to discuss that with Jason . . . it should be up to Crystal.” I met Calvin’s eyes. I opened my mouth to remark that if all Jason wanted was babies, he shouldn’t get married; but then I recognized that was a sensitive subject, and I stopped while I was ahead.
    Calvin shook my hand in an odd, formal way when he left. I believed that marked the end of his courtship. I had never been deeply attracted to Calvin Norris, and I’d never seriously thought about accepting his offer. But I’d be less than honest if I didn’t admit that I’d fantasized about a steady husband with a good job and benefits, a husband who came straight home after his shift and fixed broken things on his days off. There were men who did that, men who didn’t change into anything other than their own form, men who were alive twenty-four/seven. I knew that from reading so many minds at the bar.
    I’m afraid that what really struck me about Calvin’s confession—or explanation—is what it might reveal to me about Alcide.
    Alcide had sparked my affection, and my lust. Thinking of him did make me wonder what marriage to him would be like, wonder in a very personal way, as opposed to my impersonal speculation about health insurance that Calvin had inspired. I’d pretty much abandoned the secret hope Alcide had inspired in me, after I’d been forced to shoot his former fiancée; but something in me had clung to the thought, something I’d kept secret even from myself, even after I’d found out he was dating Maria-Star. As recently as this day, I’d been stoutly denying to the Pelts that Alcide had any interest in me. But something lonely inside me had nursed a hope.
    I got up slowly, feeling about twice my actual age, and went into the kitchen to get something out of the freezer for my supper. I wasn’t hungry, but I’d eat unwisely later if I didn’t fix something now, I told myself sternly.
    But I never cooked a meal for myself that night.
    Instead, I leaned against the refrigerator door and cried.

Chapter 7
    THE NEXT DAY WAS FRIDAY; NOT ONLY WAS IT MY day off this week, but I had a date, so it was practically a red-letter day. I refused to ruin it by moping. Though it was still cool for such a pastime, I did one of my favorite things: I put on a bikini, greased myself up, and went to lie in the sun on the adjustable chaise lounge I’d gotten at Wal-Mart on sale at the end of the previous summer. I took a book, a radio, and a hat into the front yard, where there were fewer trees and flowering plants to encourage bugs that bit. I read, sang along with the tunes on the radio, and painted my toenails and fingernails. Though I was goose-pimply at first, I warmed up quickly along with the sun, and there was no breeze that day to chill me.
    I know sunbathing is bad and evil, and I’ll pay for it later, etc., etc., but it’s one of the few free pleasures available to me.
    No one came to visit, I couldn’t hear the phone, and since the sun was out, the vampires weren’t. I had a delightful time, all by myself. Around one o’clock, I decided to run into town for some groceries and a new bra, and I stopped at the mailbox out by Hummingbird Road to see if the mail carrier had run yet. Yes. My cable bill and my electric bill were in the mailbox, which was a downer. But lurking behind a Sears sales brochure was an invitation to a wedding shower for Halleigh. Well . . . gosh. I was surprised, but pleased. Of course, I’d lived next to Halleigh in one of Sam’s duplexes for a few weeks while my house was being repaired after the fire, and we’d seen each at least once a day during that time. So it wasn’t a complete stretch, her putting me on her list of invitees. Plus, maybe she was relieved that the Cody situation had been cleared up so quickly?
    I didn’t get many invitations, so receiving it added to my sense of well-being. Three other teachers were giving the shower, and the invitation designated kitchen gifts. How timely, since I was on my way to the Wal-Mart Supercenter in Clarice.
    After a lot of thought, I bought a two-quart Corning Ware casserole dish. Those were always handy. (I also got fruit juice, sharp cheddar, bacon, gift paper, and a really pretty blue bra and matching panties, but that’s beside the point.)
    After I’d gotten home and unloaded my purchases,