Demon Night

I just know I ain’t going to use you as a salve.”
    Charlie understood that all too well. “All right,” she said softly.
    His fingers flexed around hers. “All right?” His brows lowered over his eyes with his frown. Had he expected her to argue, to talk him into letting her fuck his grief away?
    She looked away from that piercing gaze, tilting her head so that her hair hid her expression. She didn’t know exactly what she was feeling; exhaustion, sadness, grim amusement, and resignation all seemed to be playing their notes within her, but she didn’t want to put on a show with any of them.
    But he probably knew this about her, too, so there was really no reason not to explain. “Mine crept up on me instead of hitting me fast, but after a while, it was the same—so that if I didn’t have a…a salve, I couldn’t function, and I’d start planning my day around just getting it,” she said quietly, and had to swallow before she continued. “And you tell yourself that it makes you feel good—but really, you’re just getting by. Because you feel like shit with it, but you really feel like shit without it, so you need it to get through the day. And after a while, you’re desperate to get through the day without it, but know that stopping will feel worse than going—and you don’t know if you’re clinging to it as much as it’s clinging to you. But you’re constantly looking for a way to get rid of it without hurting yourself…but there’s no way. And eventually you hate it as much as you need it.”
    She tugged lightly on Ethan’s suspender before meeting his direct gaze with a sincerity she hoped he couldn’t mistake. “So I never, ever want to be anybody’s salve.”

CHAPTER 10
    He’d figured Charlie all wrong.
    Ethan watched the tight curves of her waist and hips as she trotted up the stairs, the lean length of her legs. She’d called her body the result of her dependency, but it was evidence that he’d overlooked when he’d been focusing on the inside and avoiding what he’d perceived as a weakness.
    The emotional neediness was there; he hadn’t been mistaken in that. But like the fool who missed the forest for the trees, he hadn’t seen the whole right in front of him: Charlie knew herself so well that she’d created a layer of pure steel that was physical and emotional, keeping those tendencies contained. She’d channeled weakness into strength, and he’d wager anything that if she found herself being trapped by her need, she’d chew her arm off escaping it—knowing that the brief agony of loss was better than a slow starving death.
    Had it been her lack of shields? He hadn’t had to expend any effort getting in. He’d noted how well she chose which emotions she revealed, but only considered it relevant as to his need to get into her head to read her. Maybe that was why he’d missed seeing how strong she’d built the gate that led into her emotions; it had swung open so easily to admit him, he’d never imagined that she’d built an impenetrable lock on the other side.
    And when she’d closed it, she’d surely gotten a part of him caught up in there.
    Part of him? Hell, she’d gotten him so worked up that the slide of his breath over his tongue was like kissing air. And the memory of the sympathy in her eyes as he’d spoken of Caleb, her soft touch against his hand, was fuzzing him up, making him want to reach out for more.
    Making him a right useless son of a bitch.
    The security room was at the center of the house, a sleek and modern heart buried in the rustic design. Jake didn’t turn from his computer when Ethan came in, but remained hunched over the keyboard, furiously typing away.
    “I didn’t hear a thing,” Jake said.
    Which, Ethan figured, was a fair indication of how much he had heard. Living in Caelum, surrounded by Guardians with enhanced hearing, twisted a man’s conception of privacy; Jake hadn’t yet reverted to a human way of thinking. “It don’t matter much to me, but it does to Charlie. So you just keep on saying that, should it ever occur to her that you might have listened to anything that went on outside.”
    Jake straightened up, face forward. “Sir! Yes, sir.”
    Ethan bent low, braced his hand on the desk, and waited until Jake broke his smart-ass military pose and looked at him. “And now that you know it matters to her, I reckon that if you don’t close up your ears next time, I’ll have to skin you. And I’ll do it real